There is a Way to be Good Again

[ Caution : This is not one of those funny and interesting posts that I write just for the heck of it.. Sometimes, you have to write because you are in dire need of a source to vent out, to seek answers to your questions..]

[Caution : This is not one of those interesting and funny posts that I write just for the heck of it.. Sometimes, you have to write because you are in dire need of a source to vent out your feelings..]

The Syndrome of Guilt

The Syndrome of Guilt

Among all feelings and emotions that exist in this world, that humans can imagine, feel and experience, the worst is, undoubtedly, the awful feeling of guilt..One may or may not realize it, but something that makes it the most hopeless feeling is the fact that getting rid of remorse is harder than getting rid of any other negative feeling..You can conquer and face your fears, you can go for stress busters when you're depressed..Every emotion can be dealt with, but, guilt claws its way out rather easily..This is because of two reasons :

Firstly, all human beings love to play the "Blame Game"..It almost becomes a habit..When someone hurts you and makes you cry,you can blame that jerk..When you're tragedy-stricken, you can blame your luck..When things go wrong in a relationship, you can blame your partner..When you fall ill, you may blame your poor immunity..When you witness something unfair, you blame the society, you blame the government..But when you know that you had been wrong, when you have to face the consequences of what you have done, you despise yourself and the Blame Game doesn't help you at all..
Secondly, as they say, time heals almost everything..Ever wondered why they include the word 'almost' in the sentence, it is simply because even time can not help you in certain cases..Regret is one of those cases..The intensity, the depth and the impact of all other feelings can reduce with time, but guilt haunts you and tortures you the same way, again and again..

And you continue to live with the albatross hanging around your neck..

Forgiving Yourself ?!

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you" - Lewis Smith

I really really like this quote..I like the overall concept of forgiveness..'Forgive, Forget and be Free', it is a cliche, isn't it? But then, I've felt and realized that this holds true..

But,why do we all talk of forgiving others all the time, when it is so very difficult to forgive ourselves?

Talking about myself, I have forgiven people who had hurt me..There were some people who never cared to apologize..I never understand the reason why they do not suffer from the anxiety and despair that is associated with guilt, but, I either forgave them or somehow ignored it all..As of now, I do not have any grudges against any person, living or dead..But, when I ask myself, "Have you forgiven yourself? Can you forgive yourself or can you simply forget it all and let the guilt go?"..I really don't find an exact answer to the questions..

While I'm writing this blog, my mind is flooded with endless arbitrary thoughts..I would try and put them into concrete words..Yes, I had made mistakes, but life is beyond regrets..I had been stupid, but who isn't? The only thing that affects me the most is that I have made the same mistakes more than just once, even while I knew what I ought to do, I did not..
I would have written more about the plethora of emotions, and suddenly, rather luckily, I found this quote..

And that, I believe, is what true redemption is, when guilt leads to good. - Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

The word regret itself talks about something that had been, something that you did or did not do in your past..The keyword is past, for whats done cannot be undone..Guilt becomes torturous only and only because we let it be, we do not even think of apologizing to ourselves, leave alone forgiving..If at all we think of ways to repent, guilt might lead to good..And I re-read the title again, a quote from the same novel and the very purpose of writing this fucking long blog.. There is a way to be good again..

I, hereby, forgive myself, taking an oath that I will repent..and this very act marks the beginning of the phase of fervour and enthusiasm..that was, perhaps, lost for a long time..As the Afghans say Zendagi Migzara (Life Goes On), and the phase of guilt comes to an end, and life moves on with a ray of hope, a hope that there is a way to be good again, that guilt will definitely lead to something good, something better than what the past had been..Amen!

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Dude, GET A LIFE !!

Its Valentines Day, love is in the air.. People who are in a relationship are happy because they get a chance to celebrate, gift shop owners are happy because they can sell bouquets worth 500 bucks for 5000..But there are some people (read : some guys) who are frustrated and devastated, who feel dejected, gloomy and melancholic.. I dedicate this post to the same very same psychos.. Re-read the title, Dude, GET A LIFE !!

Before I start writing, here is a list of reasons why I'm writing about them :

1. All sick and desperate guys are posting hopelessly boring status updates on facebook, that talk of their frustration, that talk of the fact that they're single..
2. I've been receiving irritating messages by donkeys (Donkeys, according to my blog, GUYS cLASSified), .. Most of them asked the typical questions, "When are you free?", "When can we meet?", "Do you have a boyfriend?" But, one of them actually asked, "Valentines day pe single ladkiyan bhi peeti hain kya..hum log toh devdas ban hi chuke hain..".I mean, how should one react to such sick statements for God's sake!
3. Most of the male students from co-ed engineering colleges keep cribbing about the pathetic sex ratio in their colleges..Some of them also claim that this promotes homosexuality.. Well, they can expect empathy, yes, I can empathize..but why the hell should we sympathize? Recently, I read a blog by a student from IIT Kharagpur, which was written as an appeal to boycott Valentines day, just because it happens to be the reason behind the uncontrollable and incurable depression among students ! People might find it funny, I myself feel that he is a great writer, but the very idea behind his post is the root cause of the way I'm writing this post right now..

Had these guys been like normal and sensible human beings, 14th February would have been just another Tuesday for me, and I would have never written a complete blog about the same..Well, I ask myself, why should I give a shit to the tharkis and the despos? Its simply because, I feel pity.. I pity every other person who cares for them being a friend..

As I say, people, nowadays, have forgotten the meaning of love, forgotten the meaning of relationships, leave alone love..Both guys and girls want a relationship in their life, just for the sake of being committed.. Some guys want a girl in their life, just because they wish to say, "Yes, I have a girlfriend too".. Guys who are blessed to have true girls with them, prefer to be with the so-called better girls (read : hotter and more popular girls), so that they can experience the joy of getting a hunk's title, so that they can make other guys feel envious of them..

Before you start assuming things about me and start forming opinions, let me make things clear.. No, I do NOT hate men..No, I do NOT even hate the desperate guys..Its just that I want some male members of the society to realize that their desperation might just be the initial phase of becoming a frustrated psycho..Period.

If you say that you wish to experience the magic, the beauty, the feeling of being in love, if you wish to experience how awesome it feels when a girl is all yours,..Yes, I can empathize.. But, if you think that guys who hang out with hotter chicks are studs, if you think that your life is fucked up because you don't have a girlfriend.. if you suffer from an "inferiority complex" because you're single..Dude, GET A LIFE !

You might say that a girl can never relate to what a guy goes through, simply because, she cannot realize that a guy's image is dependent on what his relationship status is, on how hot or how cool his girl is.. She cannot realize that each guy is surrounded by similar guys and there is something called peer pressure.. She cannot realize what a guy's life is, because she never faces the hardships involved in 'being a guy'..You might say that, we cannot help it, its testosterone..
All I have to say is that, sensible guys do exist too.. If you think that the above lines hold true, let me tell you, you aren't one of them..

If you're lonely, and you wish to find a person to get rid of the loneliness, and when your search for that person who can 'fill the emptiness' is over, you call it love..No, its not love in the first place..Desperation, frustration, craving for a relationship can never make you feel what true love is..Love will happen when it has to happen to you..
Happiness is a state of mind..So is sadness..The smallest of the things can make you happy, right from a century by your favorite cricketer to watching a nice movie.. But happiness, surely, does not depend upon your relationship status..One feels depressed when one is hurt or betrayed, for we are human beings..But, love and relationships are all about destiny..When destiny has it in store for you, you will be blessed with someone who loves you, someone who truly wishes for your happiness, someone who puts in efforts for your smile..You ought to live your life the way it comes to you..

For all those who still think that their life is screwed up, because they're single, for all those who still can't understand that being single is a hundred times better than being with a wrong person..Once again, I repeat, I know a small blog can never inculcate conscience in a loser.. Dude, GET A LIFE !

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मुस्कुरा के जी ले तू..

न  मंज़िल  की  तलाश  कर,

न  मोड़  का  खौफ  रख,

दिल  तो  तेरा  आवारा  है

आवारा  ही  रहेगा..

बेपरवाह  बेफिक्र  मुसाफिर,

रस्ते  गलियों  पे  चल  दे  तू..

सफ़र  में  जो  न  बन  सके  हमसफ़र  तेरे,

उनकी  यादों  के  साथ,

सफ़र  अपना  मुक़म्मल  कर  ले  तू..

कि  आखिर  जिंदगानी  है  इक  कारवाँ

मुसाफिर  आते  हैं , मुसाफिर  जाते  हैं..

जो  न  रहे  जुज़्व-ए-ज़िन्दगी,

उनकी  ग़म-ए-जुदाई  में  तन्हाई  क्या..

मदहोशी  में  खुद  को  भुला  कर,

इक  बार  नशे  में  बह  जा  तू,

मिल  के  बिछड़ना  तो  है  दुनिया  का  दस्तूर,

हर  रूह  है  बेचैन , हर  शख्स  है  मजबूर,

एक  बार  कर  ले  जो  तू,

मजबूरियों  को  मंज़ूर,

एक  राहत  तेरे  दर  पे  दस्तक  देगी  तो  ज़रूर..

अहबाब  न  रहे  जो  तेरे  हयात  में,

तू  खुद  ही  खुद  का  हबीब  है,

महफ़िल  में  ख़ुशी  न  मिली,

तो  खल्वत  का  सुकून  ही  सही,

खुशियाँ  तेरी  मुख़्तसर  ही  सही,

मुस्कुरा  के  जी  ले  तू..

हर  खता  को  बक्श  दे,

बाशुक्रिया  हर  इनायत  को  कुबूल  कर,

पूरी  कायनात  तेरे  सदके  में  सर  झुकाएगी,

एक  बार  ये  ज़हमत  कर  ले  तू..

हर  शिकवे  को  भुला  कर,

मुस्कुरा  के  जी  ले  तू..

खुदा की  रहमत  होगी  तुझपे  जो,

इक  बार  इबादत  कर  ले  तू..

[This is just a random poem.. I had written it while travelling once.. I just re-read it today, and somehow, it made me smile.. sharing it with a hope that it would make all readers smile too !

I love Urdu !! ]

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GUYS cLASSified !!

[This blog post comes as a random post, for I was bored of posting about life lessons and relationships.. I always wanted to write about my own classification of guys.. Each category is named after an animal.. You may or may not like it, I wrote this blog just for the heck of it.. But then, at the same time, I wish to convey a message too.. Its a humble request to all readers, please read it with an open mind..
Hope you enjoy the classification.. Cheers !! ]

The Puppies : First of all, I apologize to all dog lovers for comparing the ultimately cute puppies to these guys.. Puppies, to begin with, are guys who run after hot chicks..Well,its pretty obvious that all guys like hotter girls..but then, puppies are a special category for they actually chase them wagging their tails..Even after realizing and accepting that the girl is a bitch and does not give a damn to them, they would give her infinite chances in the name of their so-called love, they would continue to make attempts to manipulate her and 'conquer' her mind (even if she happens to be a mindless creature), hoping that they still have a chance..hoping that everything will fall into place one day..They are ready to lose their dignity, in fact, I believe that, they do not possess that dignity in the first place, leave alone losing it..And the irony is that, all puppies think that they're manly and must be proud of 'being a man'..Out of frustration, they start assuming that all girls are bitches, and start avoiding true friends and well wishers...Frankly, I don't give a shit to the puppies anymore, for I know that my words can't inculcate self-respect in them..

The Mice : A mouse is a guy who would make you feel special, would tell you that he needs you and he would promise you that he won't ever let you go.. As a matter of fact, when he says that he needs you, he really means it for he does need you for "emotional support".. And in spite of his endless promises to be there with you forever, you are never special to him, for he makes the same promises to every other girl who is a source of some happiness to him..Yes, mice can't face hardships of their life on their own..They are emotionally weak, mentally unstable, psychos and weirdos who seek support and sympathy from all girls who are way stronger than them..They have a tendency to escape..They go into isolation whenever anything at all goes wrong..They won't pick calls, they won't share their problems, they would simply make you feel perplexed and perturbed..They start assuming that their life is a waste..They do not love themselves..Out of guilt, they often say that they don't deserve you, and trust me when I say this, they're right when they say so..No matter how much you try, you would end up realizing that your efforts to encourage and motivate them were all in vain.. simply because, mice are born "losers" !!

The Monkeys : When you're fed up of being 'used' by the mice, being taken for granted by the puppies,the monkeys come to the rescue...Monkeys are popular for their amazing sense of humor and witty talks..People might consider them to be jobless guys who are born to entertain the whole world with their meaningless PJs, but I respect them for making me laugh, I respect them for their intelligence, I respect them for they value their dignity unlike the puppies..Monkeys are the most sensible and strongest guys around.. They have a practical and optimistic approach towards life..When a monkey says something to praise a girl,he doesn't say so in an attempt to flirt, he actually means it! Monkeys have a great style of talking..They are awesome orators..They can always make you laugh no matter how sad you are.. They keep their promises..To cut the long story short, monkeys are your truest friends..

The Tigers : The most interesting category, and of course, the most attractive category too !! Tigers are the irresistible heartthrobs, apparently perfect and incredibly popular guys.. They include the real hot models, the amazing guitarists, the good looking football players, the sexy dancers, the guys who have a voice to die for, and so on.. Apart from their god gifted talent and looks, they also possess a perfect style of talking and an invincible ability to flirt..The biggest reason why girls find the tigers attractive is not the fact that they're good looking, talented or stylish, its just that, they don't run after girls !
Unfortunately, there are three sub categories of the tigers too..These three subcategories initially make you feel as if you're on top of the world and then walk away from your life later.. Firstly, the over ambitious tigers : All tigers are ambitious, they wish to be famous, they wish to earn loads n loads of money..They are ultimate workaholics.. They always claim that they are busy..They would never devote time to you..They would choose to spend their valuable time taking rest, but they won't attend your calls, won't reply to your messages, simply because, they have a tendency to become self-obsessed psychos out of their over ambitiousness..
Second, the Casanovas : They would charm you, they would flirt with you, they would make you feel as if you're the love of their life, and then, one fine day, they would walk away and another name would be added on to the long list of women in their life !
Third, the Haughty Tigers : No matter how cool or popular a guy is, a girl can never stand someone who makes her feel that she is inferior to him.. Some tigers are arrogant beyond words..So much so, that they become totally unbearable..

The Donkeys : Every girl has a list of guys who are "blocked" from her facebook chat, and every guy from the list of blocked guys, is a donkey by default..Donkeys are the most irritating guys, who ask for your phone number right after they meet you, who ask you to go out with them even when they barely know you..Somehow, they are never able to realize that girls don't wish to talk to them, but they keep on trying to initiate conversations in their typical style..and they have just three questions to ask from you.. One, do you have a boyfriend? Two, Can I have your number? Three, You're rarely online..You know I was missing you, so wassup?

The Tortoises : Remember, slow and steady wins the race ! A tortoise is a guy who can make his way to a girl's heart slowly and steadily.. Tortoises have patience to know and understand who a girl really is.. They are shy and the very same reason makes them cute.. They respect women, they respect their family and unlike the puppies, they value their dignity the most.. Tortoises are ambitious guys who work hard to achieve their goals in their professional lives.. When a tortoise falls in love, he would always be true and loyal to his girl, come what may!
The only problem with these guys is that, they often hesitate to talk for they're shy.. They can't really express themselves, and unfortunately, at times, girls simply don't notice them!

The Chimpanzees : They are popularly known as 'geeks' or 'nerds'... They're those super genius kids who are born to crack the toughest of the entrance exams.. They have a unique lifestyle of their own.. They love coding and making programs.. They love to spend time with their books and mathematics problems.. I like their "I don't care about what people think of me" attitude quite a lot ! In certain cases, sadly, chimpanzees, tend to realize that something is missing in their life.. This happens when they achieve great success in their professional lives and they end up realizing that they're living in emptiness, emptiness in terms of their personal lives.. In some cases, they start running after women around them, they spend money, they are used and finally, they become what puppies are !! Sigh !

The Stray Dogs : The puppies, according to my post aren't really cute and lovable.. Similarly, the stray dogs here aren't pathetically bad too.. Confused? Well, you might have noticed that girls always go weak in the knees when they talk to sophisticated and decent men God knows why ! I feel that a guy who can't abuse does not deserve to be called a man.. I love it when a guy fights for his girl.. I really don't like sophisticated and chivalrous men and I respect aggressive and rebellious guys.. So, the stray dogs are basically guys who wish to stay who they really are, who admire simplicity, who aren't fake, who respect themselves (unlike the puppies and the mice), who are always ignored by bimbos and nincompoops who are mad about fake style and status..

The Jackals: Insecurity, jealousy and possessiveness define the jackals.. They envy the guys who act as monkeys (best friends) for their girlfriends and they envy the guys who act as tigers (crushes) for their best friends among girls even more..They can't stand someone else being closer to girls who are close to them.. They are insecure simply because they don't have faith, they can never trust and because of this attitude, they try n keep restrictions, they make rules, they snatch your freedom from you, they don't let you be.. Any relationship at all can't survive with insecurities and without trust.. Jackals and their over possessiveness can be disastrous at times..

The Crocodiles : 'Liar' is the word ! Right from their family background to the number of girls who proposed to them, right from their academic achievements to their popularity.. Everything that crocodiles talk of is absolutely fake !! A crocodile can fake his emotions.. he can go up to the extent of saying that a girl is dating him, even if she doesn't even know that he actually exists ! Crocodiles are sick and all girls are sensible enough to know that they ought to stay away from them..

The Wolves : Wolves are the criminals who can actually scare you.. Their eyes, their expressions and the way they stare at women around them, and everything about them is hateable.. They feel that every woman is a slut, and the only feeling that they can ever relate to, is that of lust.. I wish I could abuse them all but I don't wish to do that publicly... Lets just put an end to the description here itself !

The classification comes to an end, but before I put an end to the post, I wish to say a few important things..

A message dedicated to all those guys who say that all men are insecure and possessive, all men are emotionally weaker, but we're not to be blamed, its testosterone.. Get a life !! And at least stop blaming hormones for God's sake!

The Return of HUM TUM happens to be the most popular post on this blog.. Guys commented on the same saying that they loved reading it, but people still fail to realize the meaning of friendship.. When a girl admires you as a best friend, she would believe in you more than what you believe in yourself.. She would respect you in spite of knowing the worst of the things about you.. She would take care of your health, she would put in efforts to make you happier, she would ignore your stupidities and hopelessness, she would forgive you with an effortless ease and all she would expect from you is some respect, absolutely nothing beyond that ! If you have a friend like my blog's character Sho, you're blessed with a selfless friend, the day you start disrespecting her, misunderstanding her, the day you break her trust, she might choose to value her dignity and you might end up losing her ! You have absolutely no right to blame her for walking away, for a true friend would never decide to leave you unless she's actually hurt..

All puppies and mice, come up with absurd statements like , "all women are bitches" right after they have a breakup..Even if they're blessed with the truest friends among girls, they are frustrated, they post sad facebook status updates blaming women for their so-called heartbreak and sorrowful personal life..They start devoting more time towards their career, hoping that it would divert their mind, but, they can't be happy in their personal lives unless they stop running after girls who don't value them and start loving and respecting themselves..

I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it. - Marilyn Monroe

I have seen many guys who've hurt me, who've made me cry.. I've been with mice and jackals, I've lived with with puppies and frustrated psychos..Perhaps, every girl faces some losers in her life..But we never say that all men are dogs ! We're always strong enough to face situations, to move on, to remember the beautiful moments n be happy about the same!

People come n go.. Life moves on.. If you feel that you've been disrespected and taken for granted, accept that God doesn't want you to be hurt anymore and move on.. If you feel you had been wrong, stop shedding tears out of guilt, apologize, forget your ego and get your old friend back into your life.. Come what may, never curse your life n luck and never blame all girls around you for the one who ditched you..
The next time you hear someone saying, "all girls are bitches", you can definitely conclude that the guy is a frustrated loser..
Hope you were able to relate to the blog !

Sincerely,
A girl-next-door who is definitely NOT A BITCH !!

P.S.
The title of this blog was suggested by a nice friend, Vikas Singh, sincere thanks to him..
This post would have been really incomplete without my friend Surbhi Makkar's help.. She is a really intelligent girl and an amazing writer.. I hope she starts writing blogs soon ! Widget on

ADIOS SEMESTER SEVENTH !!

[ For the first time, I am writing a semester blog only for myself, for I really need to recall the different phases of this semester..

Unlike all semester blogs, there won't be any messages dedicated to any of my friends this time..

The only reason why I'm publicly posting this blog is that, all those people who feel connected to me, in any manner at all, like to read about me, for they can automatically empathize with whatever I write and to my surprise, even unknown readers are always able to relate to my semester blogs, even though they are based on my personal life, experiences and so-called life lessons !]

So, I finally start with the blog based on my second last semester..The first part of the blog is dedicated to all final year students I know..

You know you are a final year engineering student when :

• The most commonly used word by you, by everyone around you, is nothing else but 'placement'.. All you talk about is companies visiting your campus, visiting other colleges, your friends and friends of friends who got placed in great companies and so on..
• Half of your time is wasted in debating over factors that influence job satisfaction as you keep on comparing different companies in terms of their location, job profile, packages, work culture, dress code, crowd and what not !!
• You always claim that you are busy like hell, you are fed up of your hectic schedule, fed up of projects, preparation for post graduation entrances, but at the same time, you always take out time to pamper yourself, for you believe that this is the last year of your college life and you won't get a chance to be with your friends again..
• Procrastination reaches a whole new level.. You know that it is one of the most crucial years of your life, you know you should work hard but you do not feel like studying at all, and you simply can't help it, for reasons unknown to you..
• Day dreaming about your life post college becomes a part of your daily routine, even when you don't really know where you'll land up..
• Nostalgia rules your heart ! Nostalgia about your college, when you say that you wanna get out of the place asap even though you know that you'll miss it and miss your friends and the unforgettable moments of your college life..

Phase 1 : This sem gave me a job offer, some awesome days and beautiful moments, some new friends and great experiences.. It had a perfect beginning with the busy schedule of the placement drive, Anna Hazare's movement and an amazing birthday..

Gradually, the second phase of the semester started, which was definitely not as good as the beginning, and the reason was that I had started missing myself..For the first time in life, I had started giving a damn to people and things around me..I was missing the way I used to be a naive, innocent girl, least bothered about the whole world..I was missing the way I used to be in love with everything and everyone around me, I missed my carefree, practical side..

I had decided to face it all and come back to myself on my own.. I took a net break for a month and that's how the phase 3 started.. I devoted time to myself, I realized the importance of self-love.. I realized how nothing lasts forever, sometimes life actually tests your patience.. All you can do and must do in certain situations, is to let things be and give time the time to sort things out.. The more I devoted time to my health, my career, my family, the better I felt, and gradually I came back to the girl who really does not need big reasons to be happy, who is a true person to herself, to everyone around her, who feels happier while doing something for others' happiness,who believes in simplicity and honesty, and feels proud of all those unique and crazy characteristics that make her the person she is..

And here I am, back to square one, back to being what I used to be, and really happy about the same.. Finally, let me start with the things that I learnt and realized in this semester, in my typical style of writing in points, I know that there is no coherence at all, here goes the random list :

• Being busy is eternal bliss..Spend time with yourself.. Observe yourself.. Introspect.. Retrospect..Let everything else go and devote some time to feel the exhilarating effect of the blithesomeness associated with solitude..All you have to do is to make sure that the solitude phase does not stretch for a long time..
• Sometimes, in the process of valuing others and considering them to be a special part of your life, we tend to forget that we, ourselves, are special too.. No one is above your own dignity.. Hence, you should never cross the thin line that exists between attachment and addiction..Never let go off the things that make you who you are, for you are special, and you deserve your own love and respect.. My blog Love Yourself says it all..
• I have seen people walking away and going into isolation many times.. It does hurt when people close to you start avoiding you,out of frustration.. It does hurt when a best friend starts becoming just another person.. But you have no other option other than accepting that they wish to be alone, all you can do is to give them the time to be back to themselves.. I have taken a firm decision that come what may, I won't ever go into isolation and won't ever avoid people who wish to be with me and genuinely care for me..
• Never try to stop or control the flow of your feelings.. Let them go on and on.. You don't need to prioritize people in your life, their importance and worth is automatically dependent on how they have been to you and what role they have played in your life.. If you give infinite chances to someone who does not give a damn to your happiness, you're being fooled, while if you continue to take for granted someone who has always been caring and loving, no one can be as inconsiderate as you are..
• I may not be able to define a perfect relationship, but based on my observations, I have concluded that certain characteristics, signs and signals that clearly indicate that your relationship is not worth the effort..One, if a relationship is a secret, you should not be in it.. Two, if there was an insecurity in your mind right from the beginning, no points for guessing that without faith and trust, it will come to an end soon..Three, if you keep trying to sort things out all the time, and the contribution from the other side to make you feel better and happier is zilch, you definitely deserve something better, for I truly believe in Marilyn Monroe's words, "Its better to be unhappy alone than being unhappy with someone.."
• 90% people are not able to achieve great things in their professional life, not because they are not talented, able, intelligent or deserving.. but its because of their inability to concentrate, and unfortunately, I fall under the category of those 90% people.. I wish to channelize my capabilities and be focused in one direction, but, somehow, I could never really do so..I resolve to give my best to whatever I do, in the year 2012, for not being focused is the only thing that I always regret..
• Sometimes it becomes important to let go..Sometimes, life is all about letting things be and happiness is all about accepting whatever is meant to be..
• Nothing can alter what destiny has in store for you..Life is always unexpected..In spite of whatever you plan or desire,things will always be unpredictable and fortuitous..Something that's meant to be will always find a way..Leave things to destiny, have patience and have faith in God..He will handle all your problems and make you realize why they say that everything happens for a reason..
• People often misunderstand you and tag you with adjectives that do not describe you at all..I was tagged with the words 'haughty and self-centered' when I refused to go out with a guy who was lying and faking things to impress me..I was tagged with the word 'dominating' just because I'm straightforward and talkative, and worst of all, I was tagged 'cheesy' when I expressed my care to a close friend who was like family to me.. Its easy enough to say that you don't give a fuck when the person who misunderstands you does not matter to you, but if its someone who has always been close to you, you have to sort it out and make things clear to him/her, but there is a limit up to which you can justify or explain yourself, for people who actually trust you, do not need any explanations, they ought to believe that that you will always be true to them..

This semester taught me the importance of self-love and dignity, taught me to let go and leave things to destiny.. It made me a much stronger and much more sensible person.. I saw people going away from me.. I was misunderstood.. I saw doubt in the eyes of persons who used to trust me blindly, but at the end of the day, I don't have any regrets as far as my personal life is concerned, for I know that have always been a true person and a true friend..

Now when I look back, I feel glad for I did not curse life during the tough phases, I never blamed my luck and I continued to have faith in God.. At the end of this post,I thank him for all the good things that happened to me, for all the awesome people I met not only in this semester but throughout the journey of my life..

The mere feeling of the fact that the seventh semester has come to an end is making me feel happy.. Just 6 more months to go and I will be at a new place with new people and new experiences and I'm already excited for the same !!

I know that the eighth sem is also not gonna be easy, but come what may, I'm ready to face all challenges !! Bring them on !!

The dialogue from the movie Love Aaj Kal, still happens to be my favorite.. "Shayad bhagwan shagwan naam ka item waqai me hai, jo ultimately sab kuch set kar deta hai"

Live your life without attempting to understand the HOWs and WHYs of it, simply accept it as it comes your way !!

Cheers !!

P.S.

1. Many readers and followers had asked me to write a complete series of blogs for the most popular posts of this blog, HUM TUM and THE RETURN OF HUM TUM, for they feel that the story is incomplete.. I wish to inform all of them that I am not planning to write any other sequel for the same.. HUM TUM and its two characters, Sid and Sho symbolize friendship..I had written those posts in an attempt to describe the fact that a girl and a guy can be best friends, in a relationship with no expectations, no insecurities, no demands..that is, friendship..Recently I realized that nothing lasts forever, but I do feel that one should always celebrate the happy moments of one's life..I won't use the words that the story is over for its pretty close to my heart, but I wish to say that the two characters are just friends and HUM TUM is NOT AT ALL like the movie JTYJN.. Cheers to friendship !! Cheers to my characters Sid n Sho, I'm really glad that they touched so many hearts..

2. I might have not dedicated messages publicly, but I will be sending mails and messages to my friends.. If you have been a part of my seventh sem, you might just receive a random text or mail from me anytime..
3. A story of two perfect strangers, who met in the weirdest possible manner and realized how destiny has its own ways to offer happiness to us.. Coming soon.. Next fiction series !

4. Music had been a saviour in this sem.. Right from awesome songs from Rockstar to comedy stuff like Kolaveri Di, we all checked out many amazing songs !! But the award for the Song of the semester goes to the Airtel Advertisement, Kyunki har ek friend zaroori hota hai !!

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ऐतबार आज भी है

हमसे गुफ्तगू उन्हें न गवारा हो न सही,

उनकी ख़ामोशी में हमारे अलफ़ाज़ आज भी हैं ..

ग़म-ए-तन्हाई में उन्हें तनहा रहने की आदत ही सही,
उनकी तन्हाई में हमारी सोहबत आज भी है ..

उन्हें न हो तकदीर पे ऐतबार, न सही,
उनकी खातिर हर ग़म को ख़ुशी में बदलने का जज्बा दिल में आज भी है..
इज़हार-ए-मोहब्बत उनके लिए इकबाल-ए-जुर्म ही सही,
उनकी हर सजा कुबूल हमे आज भी है..

उनकी दास्ताँ हमारे बगैर ही मुक़म्मल सही,
हमसे वाबस्ता उनके हज़ारों अफ़साने आज भी हैं..

न वो समझे हैं जज़्बात हमारे, न समझेंगे ख्वाहिशों को,
उनकी नवाजिशों का इंतज़ार हमे आज भी है..

उनकी ये खता ही सही,
वो हमसे खफा ही सही,
पर हम न होंगे उनसे कभी खफा,
उनकी हर खता के सदके में हमारी चाहत आज भी है..

न रहा है उनपे हक हमारा, न कोई इख्तियार,
पर न जाने क्यूँ..
उनके ऐतबार पे हमे ऐतबार आज भी है..

P.S.
I had been reading Meena Kumari's poems ..Few people know that she was not only a brilliant actress, but also a great writer.. Moreover, she is known as the "tragedy queen" of Indian cinema, for her sorrowful and dramatic roles in movies and her real-life story and sad experiences.. The following lines by her describe the story of her life completely..

तुम क्या करोगे सुनकर मुझसे मेरी कहानी
बेलुत्फ ज़िन्दगी के किस्से हैं फीके फीके..

Here is a link to one of her poems, in her own voice..
Chand tanha hai, aasma tanha..

Her poems inspired me to write in Urdu.. But, I wanted to write something that talks of faith, hope and forgiveness.. Hope you enjoy reading it !!

Cheers !

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Love Yourself !!

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

- Buddha

This is, perhaps, one of the most popular quotes I've ever read..The reason why I quoted this, before starting with the blog, is the fact that I always found it kinda obvious, something that goes without saying..Every individual does love himself..Why did Buddha have to preach that after all?

Mother Teresa had said, "There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread" .. Absolutely true, but we all talk of seeking love from others, loving others, caring for others, and we often tend to forget how important loving ourselves is..
How can you expect others to love you when you don't even love yourself? How can you even think of making someone happy when you aren't happy being the person you are? How can you love others when you cannot even love yourself? How can you think of achieving something when you keep on blaming your luck?

I have seen many people who tend to avoid the whole world when they are sad..They do not even talk to the closest of their friends who wish to listen to them and help them out.. No, they do not have any intentions to disrespect or ignore people who care for them..but it is the lack of "self-love" in them, that makes it difficult for them to accept love, care and affection by others..They feel guilty, they start despising themselves, they feel that they do not deserve all those who care so much for them, they start avoiding them again and the cycle continues..

Everyone says, "The first postulate of love is sacrifice" .. I disagree.. The first postulate of love is "acceptance"... You cannot love a person unless you accept him for who he really is.. If you keep on searching for perfection, if you keep on searching for qualities, you won't ever find true love..
In the same way, you can't love yourself unless you accept yourself as a person..We often feel jealous of others..We often wish to be popular, we often seek attention..Many of us suffer from inferiority complex.. And sometimes, while trying to impress others, we stop being who we are, we tend to change ourselves, not because we want those changes, but because we think of becoming a more lovable and likable person in someone else's eyes.. Once again, we forget self-acceptance, self-love and self-respect !

I always say that I believe that I am an awesome person and I love myself the way I am.. A friend had once said to me, "Saying that 'I'm crazy, I'm awesome' again and again does not mean that you are happy..It rather means that you are so hollow a person that you are filling it on your own in a futile attempt to be happier"

For all those people who feel that his words hold true, I wish to say that saying that I'm awesome does not mean that I feel I'm a perfect person..There are endless flaws in me..I know that I act hopelessly dumb at times, I am brutally blunt, honest and straightforward and often speak without thinking.. I have that irritating habit of getting into the minutest details of every damn topic while I talk.. I apologize much more than what is actually required..In spite of being an intelligent and sensible person, I am extremely crazy and childish..

But,I say that I'm an awesome human being, for I am a true person, I say whatever I feel is true, I portray whatever I genuinely am.. If at all I happen to care for a person, I would give my best shot to cheer him up, I would do anything it takes to make a close friend happy.. I value each and every person who has been good to me..I have been really great a person to a lot of self-obsessed and frustrated people and my care for them was rarely reciprocated, I don't give a damn to

them..in fact, I still have faith in friendship, relationships, people and destiny..
Saying that you are awesome does not necessarily mean that you are doing so in an attempt to be happy.. Yes, believing that you are amazing, pampering yourself, flattering yourself can act as stress busters for sure... But, accepting yourself is the first step towards self-love.. Self-love does not always make you happy, for there are things that aren't there in your hands, but it always gives you strength.. It helps you to make sure that you do not become a pessimist, that you do not try to escape and that you do not waste your time being sad for people who are not worth your tears!!

Learn to love yourself, for you are the only person who will always be there for you, throughout the journey of your life.. Self-love is a life-long romance !!

Love yourself, you will fall in love with your life and the world will fall in love with you !!

This blog is dedicated to three guys :-
1. A fellow blogger, a complete stranger and the one n only person I ever talked to online, for he made me recall things about destiny and life that I had temporarily forgotten.. Sincere thanks to him..
2. Someone who has been a close best friend, for the past fourteen years, who always makes me feel how special I am, who is, perhaps, my greatest admirer ever !!

3. A guy who was had been one of the best friends I ever had, though, all of a sudden, he stopped loving himself for some reasons unknown to me..I wish people like him stop despising themselves and learn n realize things I wish to convey to them..

P.S.

Main apni favorite hoon !!

A dialogue from my favorite movie.. this blog was incomplete without the same !!

Cheers !!

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The Return of HUM TUM

On popular demand by all readers, here goes a post based on a conversation..

Goes without saying, this blog post is a work of fiction and imagination, any resemblance with any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental..

This blog is about the characters Siddharth aka Sid and Shonali aka Sho, from the blog post HUM TUM ,though its not really a sequel, you can read HUM TUM for the introduction to the characters !!

Somehow, I love the names Sid n Shonali for reasons unknown to me..

Finally, lets start with the conversation !!

Hello !! Hi Sho !
Hi Sid !
Guess what ! I got a scheme for free std night calls today !
Okay ! Cool.. By the way, Sid, you know you're such a miser ! You keep looking for schemes, coupons and discounts all the time..
Huh ! Can't you ever stop criticizing me?!
I'm your best friend.. I have every right to keep freaking you out !
Shut up !
Hey ! I just forgot to tell you..
Hmmm..what?
GM had called.. We talked for around two hours.. It was awesome Sid..and then..
Sho, I hope you know that George Michael was a gay!
Are you mad or what? George Michael? GM stands for Geet Malhotra.. and this is for the hundredth time that I'm telling you about him.. Huh !!
hundredth time.. If you actually count, the number must be greater than thousand.. People with same initials have same characteristics.. Geet Malhotra or George Michael.. They are all gays!
Are you drunk?
I'm serious! He's way too girlie..sissy for that matter.. no manly traits in him..His name itself is so girlie.. Kareena had that name in Jab We Met..
What's in a name..And what do you mean by manly traits? He's tall.. He's...
I'm taller than him
So what? Will you stop this bullshit right now? Why do you hate him so much?
I don't hate him.. I'm just bored of talks about him.. Don't you have anything else to talk about? GM, GM is a guitarist, GM says this, GM does that ! I mean, alright, he might be a nice guy, good looking, great singer, whatever.. I don't like him..

But why do you hate him?

I don't hate him Shona.. I just don't like the way you like his cheesy talks.. He doesn't mean them..I mean, whatever it is..make sure you don't fall for him, else you'll get hurt..I mean, don't make him special..Don't be dependent on him..
Hmmm, I understand Sid, but its okay..trust me Sid..n don't worry, all is well..really..You tell, you wanted to say something, what is it?

When did I say that?

You don't have to say things to me.. I can predict them.. Now, say it !!

Okay ! Then you must be knowing what its about?

Must be bout Vrinda..

Ya, you know, I am more than just friends with her these days..

Tell me something I don't know.. This is damn obvious..I swear I knew it right from the time you started mentioning her name..

Hmmm..why do you know everything beforehand?

Shonali was feeling really proud.. and she was smiling..She just said..
Well..I just get to know things somehow..n I'm really happy for you're happy.. but Sid, are you bothered about something, I can see that.. what is it?
No.. I'm not !
Are you sure?
Okay Miss Know-it-all ! Vrinda keeps talking about other guys all the time..
So? You're jealous of them all..
Dunno..Ya.. kinda...ermm..maybe..
Well.. Siddy.. you know what, you're hopeless..Girls can make you feel jealous so easily..You are always jealous of other guys! People love you for who you are Sid, they won't let you go !
I know that, but I mean.. You're not getting the point..

Listen.. I know you must have forgotten this.. but you had once said.. "Blessed are the ones who can love and trust, insecurity is for losers"
Really, when did I say this?
You have a hopeless memory !!
Yeah.. I'm an asshole..
Shonali simply couldn't stop laughing.. Both of them did not speak much for some time.. He started talking again..

Stop laughing ! It was my thought.. n it was awesome ! So what if I forgot I had said so..
There is something called trust Sid.. When you know that the other person is always there for you, you never feel insecure, you never feel afraid..Life came up with so many changes for you, at times, things were awesome, at times they were pathetic too..but you were always there, with me, as a friend..n I knew you would be there.. Just like you say, "Shona, you're always chilled out..I never have to worry about you"...so, I've always been the same.. Ms. Know-it-all for you, only because, you trust me n you share everything ! I mean, I'm just a friend, but you have faith in me..if you say she's more than just a friend, you gotta trust her too !!

Sid was listening to her and smiling.. Shonali was a true friend indeed, but he didn't know how to react.. He was simply wondering bout the way she always manages to speak so much, and whatever she says, somehow, makes sense..

I dunno what to say Shona..
I know.. You are hopeless !
Hopeless is your favorite adjective or what? I'm not insecure, idiot !! Why would I be? Its like, you know.. we had an argument recently.. it was my fault.. I hate it when she doesn't talk to me.. n it was clearly my stupidity..
Hmmm..You know Sid..I irritate you, unknowingly hurt you so many times, all because of my stupidities..but you do understand that I care, that I don't mean to, I mean, you know I can't see you being sad.. I'm just crazy n you know that.. so you forgive me n ignore my stupidities each time.. Gradually, even Vrinda would realize how crazy you are !

Yeah ! Thanks Sho !

n I'm sorry.. I take you for granted.. Both of us do!

You know something.. You think way too much Sho.. Its okay.. I avoid thinking about things that I don't like..We take each other for granted on one hand, but we care for each other at the same time..You are next to my Mom when it comes to being concerned.. Shonali Aunty!!

Shut up Sid !

n yeah.. its not taking for granted.. its faith ! You forgot your own words..

Hmmm.. yeah ! You're right..send this song to Vrinda, "bekaraar kar ke hume yun na jaiye.. aapko hamari kasam laut aaiye!"

She doesn't like old songs..

Hmmm.. never mind ! Siddy my doggy.. I know she'll understand.. You're a gem of a person.. Anyone at all who really knows you, must be knowing that !

What do you mean?? Siddy my doggy? Huh !

I always wanted a pet dog.. Mom doesn't allow me to have pets.. I just thought of this nick name.. Wish your name was Jignesh or something.. Jiggy my doggy sounds better.. Siddy doesn't rhyme ! Change your name..

Shonali !! Shut Up !! I'm not talking to you !

What bout Siddy my puggy? Pugs are the cutest dogs !

Huh.. you know.. you're talking like a bimbo right now !

Bimbo.. Aarghhh.. That was insulting ! I hate you..

.......... And Sid n Sho started fighting like kids again... Few people are blessed with such friends..No matter how idiotic, no matter how crazy, no matter how irritating, they have their own place in your life..for they can't stand their sadness, for they always care for you beyond words..for they are your "BEST FRIENDS" .. for you know, they will always be there !!

Friendship is the only relationship that exists with no expectations, no demands, no insecurities, and this very fact, lets you be who you are when you are with a real friend !

Though this is a work of pure fiction, in case if you have a selfless and awesome buddy like Shonali or Sid.. m sure you'll be able to relate to the blog.. If at all you know who those people are, never let them go !!

No matter what, a relationship can't survive without faith.. Have faith.. Blessed are the people who can love and trust.. Insecurity is for losers !

Forgive !! Forget !! Love people for who they are !!

for they need you.. and the greatest need in the world is the need to be needed..

P.S.

Sonia, aka the author of this blog, is said to be a really intelligent and sensible person, but people who know her know how crazy she is..She believes she has every right to be straightforward and say whatever she feels is true, when she's talking to people closest to her.. and unknowingly, she often hurts such people..Luckily,they do understand her, for the best thing about her is, perhaps, the fact that she portrays herself whatever she is !!

Off late, she had crossed all limits of being dumb and had taken closest of her friends for granted.. This blog is dedicated to all those friends of hers.. They know who they are !!

Cheers !!

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THE BIG FAT INDIAN WEDDING

The saga of Arranged Marriages in India...

When you are in your early twenties,when you have a job that pays well, when you are said to be a sweet and innocent girl, when you have a decent family background, when you're neither skinny nor fat, you are bound to be surrounded by "Aunties", day dreaming about their son's wedding and thinking whether or not you would be an ideal daughter-in-law five years down the line..

And the reason why I'm writing this blog is simply the fact that I find it hard to believe that most of the middle aged men and women in India feel that the above mentioned reasons are enough for a girl to be a perfect match for their son, goes without saying that she should belong to the same community as well..

Well, 90% marriages in India might be arranged, and of course, they are said to be successful (only because they do not result in divorces), so even if people live their entire life compromising their happiness for they are 'supposed to' live together..they are labelled as happy couples with a happy married life..

And here goes a list of what arranged marriages are all about, please notice the word NOT in each point..

• The day a girl child is born in India, her parents start making plans about the way they'll manage the expenses to make her wedding a grand affair..They say,you get married only once in life, and you ought to make it a memorable day..Well, if a billionaire spends 1 crore for a wedding, its justified,but if a simple middle class man is spending 25 lakhs for a wedding, he is actually giving away whatever he had earned in his life.. Most of the readers might disagree, but endless rituals and extravagant expenditures can NOT contribute towards a happy married life.. It is only because of the kind of society we live in, it has, unnecessarily, become a necessity..
• Marriage is NOT a money game.. Everyone knows that any relationship based on greed and luxuries can never last long, even then, arranged marriages in India are all about the guy's salary package, the girl's salary package, the family business, the family status and so on.. I do not realize the reason why girls wish to marry a guy just because he's earning loads and loads of money.. Money can get you anything, but it can't buy happiness, and never buy the compatibility and mutual understanding that matters the most..
• Relatives, society, religions and communities do NOT have any right to control your life and pressurize you for anything at all, leave alone something as crucial as your own marriage.. Once again, the society and its people have a great influence, and unfortunately, its almost unavoidable in India..
• People somehow forget that their kids' marriage is NOT only about fulfilling their responsibility, but the most important decision in their kids' lives...They ought to give them as much time as they want, rather than being in a hurry to get rid of their own responsibility, rather than being pressurized by the society..
• Match making centers, matrimonial sites and astrologers and relatives can NOT really predict whether two individuals will be happy spending their life together or not!

Part- II

And, finally, the saga of the Great Indian Wedding comes to an end..
I, therefore, begin with the purpose of writing this blog.. It may sound weird, but I am really not promoting love marriages, for somehow, I feel people have forgotten the meaning of love..for marriage is about compatibility, love, mutual understanding, acceptance, togetherness, friendship and much more ! I simply wish to write about the importance of things that matter much more than the criteria by match making centers and middle aged Indian people..

Well, every individual has some elements of madness, some elements of weirdness, and he/she is actually incomplete without the same..We all have some beliefs, some principles, certain ideologies that we wish to live with.. And, therefore, if you have to spend your entire life with someone, you would at least want the person to know and understand what makes you who you are!

It is not necessary that two individuals should have the same likes and dislikes, same ideologies, to get along well.. The only thing that matters is the fact that one should 'accept' you the way you are and respect you, love you for the same!

Friendship and love are not about merely sharing your likes and interests, experiences and phases of your life.. Sometimes, its about sharing a part of yourself.. When two individuals have a perfect mutual understanding, they are always there for each other, no matter what.. No misunderstandings, no sad phases can affect the fact that they can't let each other go !! And perhaps, this is what you require to be happy together, everything else is secondary..
Moreover, nobody is perfect.. You cannot expect a huge list of amazing qualities to be there in any person at all..A perfect relationship is all about whether or not you are perfect for each other..

All you need is a companion, a person who cares for you truly, who understands you perfectly, who cannot see you being sad and puts in efforts for your happiness,who knows all your flaws yet sees a flawless person in you and above all, someone who has complete faith in you..

Well, when you are tired of your job and you come back home, when you are sick and frustrated of things going around you, you need someone to give you a hug, to cheer you up, to be with you and support you when you are at your weakest..
Everyone deserves a person "meant for him"... and hence, only two factors should control the same, what destiny offers to you and what you wish to choose !

At the end, all I wanna say is, "love cannot be arranged"

Cheers !!

P.S.
All kinda comments are welcome, feel free to say anything at all.. but its a humble request from my side, please do read it with an open mind and think before forming an opinion !

Next blog soon !
Sonia

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ZENDAGI MIGZARA (Life Goes On) - Part 2

[As I say, the best words by Khaled Hosseini after 'For you, a thousand times over' are 'Zendagi Migzara' (Life Goes On)..
The last time when I had written a blog with the same title, it was meant for people who think way too much about the future, with fear in their minds and hearts..This post, talks about different situations, that are faced by many, but it comes up with the same message, the most beautiful thing about life is, that, it moves on..]

Well, read the following lines, and think of those situations when you feel that these are absolutely true..

'Life is a bitch..for the moment you realize you've learnt how to live, it changes completely, for whenever you experience real happiness, it snatches all the reasons behind your happiness'

We feel so whenever we fail to achieve something that we wanted badly, we feel so whenever we lose someone close to us..We feel so whenever we face a tragedy in life.. As I say, nothing at all is predictable.. life is always unexpected.. A single episode can be a turning point for you, it can change your life completely..No matter what, you cannot alter what destiny has in store for you..

As they say, experience is a hard teacher for it gives the test first and the lesson later.. One feels devastated and frustrated in such situations..One forgets optimism, one forgets conscience.. Patience and acceptance are the only two things you can think of as the feasible solutions..Well, as most of us know,the one n only thing that can heal, that always heals is time.. We ought to give time time..

Now, the fact that life always goes on no matter what, does not mean that life gives you second chances..Life is a wicked bitch again..We are only given today and never promised tomorrow.. Every little thing that makes you smile is precious in its own way, every moment that makes you feel special is special in itself.. Every person who does something to make you happy, who feels worried when you are sad, deserves that love n your care from you the same way..If you wish to express your feelings to someone, do it today itself, for tomorrow, you might not get a chance to be with that loving person, to enjoy those special moments n those precious smiles..

Yes, life is long for it goes on n on n on.. for it comes up with endless experiences, countless people, uncountable tears and uncountable smiles...but then, at the same time, life is very short, because when you look back, all you can recall is those 'turning points'.. Life can be considered as a summation of all those episodes, all those changes.. Think of it once, if you're not accepting those changes, you're not accepting your life, you're merely escaping..

When one thinks of his past after a long time, these changes do not matter.. for he had been strong enough to face the tragedies, for he had cried and even his tears had dried on their

own.. for he had learnt how to live, and with the passage of time, he had moved on, just the way life always moves on.. Ultimately, its only happiness that one can think of n recall.. Happiness is recursive, one finds happiness in happy memories..over and over again..

Well, I just wrote this blog to dedicate a message to all those people, who think of running away and escaping from life, who spoil their present for what their past had been, who curse life for the sad phases..

' Life is a mixed bag.. Steal all those moments that make you happy.. Make sure you find people who truly love you, and never let them go away.. No matter how badly it tests your patience, no matter how wicked it may become at times, life does move on.. It might not give you another chances.. but it gives you new reasons to be happy, new people to meet, new experiences to enjoy'

I started this blog with the sentence, 'Life is a bitch'... I feel like putting an end to it by saying.. no matter how hard, no matter how wicked it may seem.. Accept it the way it is, make the most of it today, live it, love it, enjoy it, celebrate it and face it !!

I am in love with Prasoon Joshi's lines, "hai ye toh ik jashan, tu thirakne de kadam.. abhi saanson me hai dum, abhi chalne de sitam" .. for I do know that destiny has a role to play in all walks of life..but these lines make me feel, I can face all challenges, I can conquer all fears.. and the mere feeling makes me wanna say, "Life is... actually... beautiful"

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In Retrospect : Semester Sixth

This blog is dedicated to each and every person I know.. irrespective of the fact that they loved me or hated me, made me smile or hurt me...for every person, whom I've ever met, has taught me something or the other and has contributed in making me what I am today !!

Well, the title of this blog says it all...The reason why I love to write the so called 'semester blogs' is that, when I look back into time, I feel I'm not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.. for I get a chance to relive those unforgettable experiences and feel happy about the fact that the sad phases are finally over...

Some days and some phases of this semester were really beautiful, would talk about all those one by one..

Prerna's Di's Wedding : Shopping with your friends, enjoying every bit of the atmosphere, the music, the non-stop dance and the awesome food... Indian weddings are awesome..

A day with Paro : Pranati Pandey aka Paro, who happens to be one of the best people I have ever met in life, came back to Delhi after 5 years.. and this was, undoubtedly, the best day of the semester.. Thanks to Ali, Heena,Eshan, Raja, Megha, Anubha n Vrinda for making it even more special for me.. We missed Aka, Kshipra n Menaka though.. When you spend time with old friends, you tend to go back into the old phase, you simply enjoy, laugh your heart out and above all you feel relaxed, calm and extremely

Xebec 2011 : Honestly, I can actually write a whole blog based on Xebec, our departmental fest.. Those were the days that I'll miss the most, the days when I used to attend at least 50 calls daily, run around the whole campus at least a hundred times even though I was unwell.. I still miss my Non-tech events, I still miss being exhausted, I still miss running around and abusing all those first years who were nowhere to be seen, I still miss bunking classes for the whole day, I still miss the way we used to sit and relax in HOD's room... above all, I miss the celebrations, the cake cutting ceremony and the list goes on and on and on..

WOW : Worlds of Wonder, that is, WOW, was actually a part of our after Xebec celebrations... I was back to being a kid that day.. I still feel proud of the fact that I had taken the 180 degrees twister ride twice, though I had screamed at the top of my lungs, it was an amazing experience in itself... We screamed, we danced, we took every kiddish ride, WOW was simply WOW !!

ICC Cricket World Cup 2011 : If you are not able to relate to the next few lines of this blog, you do not deserve to be a citizen of India.. Cricket fever was at its extreme best in this semester, thanks to the CWC... Everyone had bunked college on 31st March, the Indo-Pak semi final.. We witnessed some great matches, great cricket and at the end, WE WON ... I still remember the way I used to send and receive calls and texts after every match, the way I felt so happy for Sachin Tendulkar, the way everyone used to celebrate and party... Cricket, in India, is not just a game, saying that its a religion is also an understatement, for its the one n only thing that unites the whole nation !

Farewell : The week before farewell was perhaps the worst week of the semester, for n number of reasons..but as they say, all's well that ends well.. I loved the response of the crowd while I was the anchor, I loved Pallavi's dance performance, and hats off to Surbhi, Chankey, Apeksha n Sushumna for the great job.. All our seniors actually came to thank us.. Its nostalgia at its peak for the batch that passes out every year and its an amazing feeling when you can do something to make them happy.. Shreya Di, Disha Di, Garima Di, Prarthna Di n Tanvee Di.. I'll miss you all..

Well, in spite of these amazing experiences, sixth semester had been really tough for me, for various reasons.. Sometimes you are forced to face some situations where you cannot do anything other than waiting and hoping for the phase to get over... Such phases make you realize the importance of the 8-letter word called patience.. This semester, like all other semesters, came up with a lot of life lessons, n this time I have divided them into categories.. lets talk of love, friendship and relationships to begin with..

• Even if someone becomes complacent, even if misunderstandings come up, in spite of all the low phases n weird phases.. when two persons know that they need each other and they trust each other, things always come back to the same.. every time.. You just need to have faith and trust the other person..
• Its living and loving that matters, when being together becomes the ultimate source of happiness, the name given to the relationship does not matter at all..
• You meet hundreds of people in your life, you interact with so many people.. Out of those hundreds of people you live with, the ones who actually know you and understand you are just a few people, who happen to be the closest to you.. Ever wondered how two strangers become best friends, how two individuals realize they can't live without each other.. Next blog.. "Laws of Attraction and Natural Frequency".. Coming soon..
• Nothing else, absolutely nothing else can be as important as communication in a relationship.. Some people might disagree, but this is what I have realized in this semester..

Finally, a few messages dedicated to some amazing friends.. Semester blogs are incomplete without this..

Shashank : My advisor, my philosopher-cum-guide-cum-patient listener, the person who knows me better than everyone else, and to cut the long story short, my best friend.. Sharma Ji.. You rock !!

Nina : Just one thing to say, missed you, throughout the semester..

AC : First of all, thanks for the way you never misunderstood me even when I was at my extreme worst..thanks for every little thing you did for me.. for making me smile with your filmy style of talking whenever I was sad.. Learnt a lot from you..I enjoyed irritating you, keeping nick names, kid fights over your hopelessly pathetic phone and addiction to facebook.. Always be the same crazy, sweet and caring person I know..the ultimate idiot..typical AC style !

Paro : Abe Delhi aa ja wapas !

Litsi : Teddy... You are my biggest source of entertainment.. I laugh like anything daily, thanks to our meaningless conversations.. Keep up the good work..

Pallavi : Whenever I talk to you, I feel as if I am talking to an intelligent-cum-crazy person and thats the best part.. In one word, you are simply 'awesome'.. Enjoyed talks with you in this sem.

Tanya : I used to be a fan of your latkas and jhatkas.. In this semester, I became a fan of Tanya Arora's patience.. \Respect/

Radhika : I love the way you are always concerned about your friends and put in efforts to make them happy.. glad to have a friend like you..

Neha : Three words to say.. Thank you Guruji !

Prerna : A kid at heart, innocent and really sweet, thats what you are.. love you buddy!

Richa and Mehra : Loved the gossip sessions, enjoyed hanging out with both of you.. Richa, you are a lot like me...n Mehra, as I had promised, you will get a note from me soon!

Surbhi : You are a wonderful human being, and no one else could have been a better partner for anchoring.. Thanks for everything buddy!

Kriti : There is something special about arguments with you Kriti Dua, I always enjoy them a lot.. n ya, nothing like our talks about Hermione and Ron :)

In this semester, weeks had passed faster than minutes, days had passed faster than seconds.. It was fast, but it came up with great experiences, it was tough, but it taught me a lot..So, here comes the next category of life lessons...

• As Chetan Bhagat had said, the word 'balanced' comes before the word 'successful'.. I feel pity for all those over-ambitious and workaholic people who are not only compromising with fun, leisure and pleasure, but also with friendship, relationships and happiness.. One should give equal importance to his personal and professional life.. If you are a hosteler, call your parents daily.. Take out time and text old friends.. Devote time to people who care for you !
• According to my dictionary, the word simplicity is almost a synonym to the word beauty.. Life is simple, we tend to make it complicated, live it simply and enjoy its simplicity !
• Most of us, dream of a perfectly balanced life.. and of course, most of us do not even say that life's good, leave alone saying that its perfect, this is because somewhere in our minds, we have that image of that so-called beautiful life, which makes us forget the importance of whatever we possess right now..
• Nothing at all is kiddish or crazy, as long as it makes you happy.. I feel proud whenever I hear people saying that Sonia is weird or Sonia is crazy, and thats because, I love myself the way I am and of course, life is incomplete without an element of madness in it..
• Sharing your problems, crying and venting it out when you are sad is never a sign of weakness or sympathy seeking, for when you share things with someone who actually cares for you, you often find a solution.. Always speak your heart out, say whatever you feel is right, for the ones who matter don't mind what you say, and the ones who mind, do not matter..

Three years gone !! The most crucial year of our career and perhaps one of the most crucial years of our lives, is just ahead of us..

As I always say.. there are just two people who love you unconditionally and selflessly, and they are your parents.. After the end of each semester, I make a promise to myself that one day, I'll make them feel proud, but today, while writing this blog, I felt that, in these three years, I haven't done anything that could make them feel so.. Perhaps, I have lost that determination, that diligence, that sincerity after coming to college.. This year, I have to bring it back.. I have to be focussed no matter what..

Life is always unexpected.. 7 years back, I did not even know that a place called Vidyamandir Classes does exist, and I was lucky to be a part of it.. 4 years back, when I was at school, I had never even imagined that I would enter an all girls college one day.. and similarly, I have no clue about what life has to offer in future, but I am all excited now.. Job interviews, new places, new people, and an altogether different life, and above all, a lot of challenges.. bring them on !!

At the end, just one thing to say.. Life is really really sexy.. Live life so completely that when death comes to you like a thief in the night, there will be nothing left for her to steal..

Enjoy !!

Keep reading !!

Sonia

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And.. My Life Changed

She used to say, "Once in a lifetime,if you are lucky enough,there comes a person in your life, who divides it into two phases,the one before you met him and the one after you met him"

And she was so right..

yes, she had always been right..

And my days used to revolve around her endless talks..

and I listened to her, and I smiled..

And... My life changed..

She used to say, "You never need big reasons to be happy..Sometimes, cute little things that someone does to make you smile, mean the world to you"

Her presence was the biggest reason for me to be happy..

For she taught me how to live,

For she taught me how to love..

And I loved her beyond words..

And.. My life had changed..

And she knew me completely,

And she understood me perfectly,

And she loved me selflessly..

And ever since she had entered my life..

My Life had changed..

She used to say, "Life is simple, live it simply,enjoy its simplicity and you will realize how beautiful it is !"

And sitting beside her grave,

I saw her beauty,

I saw her simplicity,

I recalled everything she did,

I recalled everything she said..

Yes, she is no more...

She left me alone..

And I do wonder,

I do wonder about,

the simplicity of life she used to talk about,

I still try to find,

her beautiful voice,

her beautiful smile..

And I do smile..

every time I think of her..

And I do cry,

every time I think of her..

She happens to be my life,

She was the girl who changed my life..

My Life had changed..

Yes... My Life Changed.. Twice !!

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