She Needs EMPATHY, not EMPOWERMENT

This women's day, I simply could not stop myself from writing a post. No, this is not about women's rights, this is not about empowerment and this is not about sexual harassment, female infanticide, dowry and other social evils..

This post is against ridiculous ways of celebrating International Women's Day. This post is against all those who think women need special job offers, special rights or empowerment (I swear this word reminds me of Rahul Gandhi more than anything or anyone else). What girls and women really need is liberty and empathy and what we are giving them is the exact opposite. 

An Appeal to all Companies

When I had my first interview, guys around me said, "Getting core mechanical jobs is so easy for girls, all auto sector companies "prefer" girls in order to improve the sex ratio". When I had my second job interview, which was for a PSU, guys around me said, "Getting into a PSU is a cakewalk for girls. They would take them in any case, it is a government organization, they have to increase the number of women employees.”

Do you think I blame guys for such an attitude? I am not sure if I should blame them, but I do blame all those companies that are coming up with a "Special" Recruitment Drive for Women.

For God's sake, stop! Please stop these recruitment drives in the name of HR initiatives and CSR. Jobs for women blessed with affluent and well educated parents do not fall under Corporate Social Responsibility and it does not bridge the so-called gap in any manner.

Women are equally intelligent, deserving and competitive. A special recruitment drive for them is a reservation in a way and reservations of any sort have nothing to do with liberty. What you are doing is not empowering women, it is simply advocating and exemplifying what young guys feel about recruitment in Indian companies.

If you really want to do something for women and their liberty, invest in educating young girls.

If you really want to do something, tell workers from shop floors, Chai walas and sweepers in their company that their wives deserve to be respected, teach them not to get drunk and beat their wives, teach them that domestic violence is a criminal offence.

An Appeal to all Parents

You love your daughters and you want them to grow up as educated, independent women. The word independence does not mean being financially independent only. It is about aspirations, thoughts and desires.

Stop preparing her to get married, stop preparing her to be perfect. She is a human being and would always remain imperfect. Stop telling her things that you never mention to your sons. Why is it OK for her brother to abuse while she can’t? Why is it OK for her male cousins to get drunk at a family function while she can’t? Why is it OK for guys of her age to watch porn, while she can't even think of doing that?

Why do you expect your daughters to be sophisticated, pretty, naive, innocent and teetotalers? Why does society have different rules for girls and guys? For every MMS scandal, for every rape case, for every case of pre-marital sex and teenage pregnancy, why do we say, “He was a guy, it is OK for a guy to do so, after all, men will be men, but she was a girl, she should have been careful. Why didn’t her parents teach her anything?”

I find this absolutely ridiculous. Why is it “normal” for a man to have sex or have the desire to have sex while it is “immoral” and “a sin” for girls?

Please do not let your ethics and moral values be gender based. The definition of right and wrong, moral and immoral must be the same for both girls and boys. That’s it.

An Appeal to the great Indian Education System

They say that Indian schools must introduce sex education for teenagers. Yeah, right, we live in a society where one can openly talk of Cancer and not of AIDS and we talk of sex education!

Teenagers do not need a biology class that includes facts about our hormones and reproductive system. What boys actually need is an open session to teach them that there is more to a woman than her boobs and legs, to counsel them about relationships, to guide them so that they grow up to be responsible men who respect women, who treat them as equals, who have the ability to empathize with them.

A message to all women

You do not need a day to remind you that you are special. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Respect your goals and ambitions, value your independence. You were not born to make sacrifices, you were not born to follow what society says, you were born to live your life on your own terms! Cheers!!

Sonia

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Mumbai Weekends : Keep Walking

Reminiscing the year 2013, I can't stop thinking about the way the year marked the beginning of a completely new phase - a new job with a totally unexpected job profile, all the great people I met and goes without saying, the city that has been the pivot of all my fascination, introspection and reverie - Mumbai.

Like all other Delhiites, even I had my own reasons to dislike a hell lot of things about Mumbai..But then, the year 2013 gave me many unforgettable moments, cognizance of my own desires. And amidst the plethora of emotions, amidst the changes and phases, I started liking this city for a really weird reason..They say that Mumbai never sleeps, I say that Mumbai never stops..
The people of Mumbai always happen to inspire me. I was amazed at the way the hopelessly heavy rains never seemed to stop them. I love the cosmopolitan culture and the zeal that Mumbaikars have for each and every festival. I like the way they travel in local trains, standing at the gate and enjoying the wind.

This city taught me to be fearless, to set myself free when I needed it the most. I met the best of the people in my life when I was at my worst. Its beaches gave me tranquility whenever I was anxious. I felt surrounded by a cobweb of uncertainties, but as they say, "you may be lost in ways more than one, but I've a feeling that sometimes it is better than knowing exactly where you are."

 The crux is that nothing should stop you. Life is like a long sexy road..And to keep driving on it, keep enjoying the beauty, with open windows and soothing music, must be its only purpose. You stop, you worry about the traffic, you feel afraid of accidents, you keep thinking about the road gone or the road ahead and you're gone, you're screwed.

When you feel afraid of your own desires, when the only way out seems to be forbearance and detachment, you never really understand how destiny has its own secret plans to introduce you to someone who would take you to who you really are and make you fall in love with yourself, in spite of your imperfections all over again, in such a manner that your past, your apprehensions and fears would become totally insignificant. Never regret anything at all that ever made you happy, for one day, you would be able to connect all dots and smile. The key is to keep hoping, even when everything is uncertain..keep thanking those who are with you, keep smiling even when nothing seems to be right ..keep forgiving, for your own peace..keep loving, for love gives you strength to have faith beyond all insecurities and apprehensions..keep walking, with no restrictions and no regrets!

Mumbai has been a new chapter for me, a new life with so many life lessons, and a change.. a change that taught me something, Keep Walking !!

Cheers!!

Sonia

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That Girl With Blood Red Eyes

"Your daughter's beauty will mesmerize the whole world", the old astrologer had told her mother when she was carrying her. Her mother smiled, touching her belly. The man continued, "She would be born with a beautiful face, a milky white face, but.."

"But..but what?"

"But the moment she will open her eyes, people will be scared to death. She is cursed. Her eyes, as red as blood shall make her cursed." 

Her mother's eyes were blazing with fury. She abused the mad man and walked away, but for the next one month, his words could not let her sleep. Everyday, she convinced herself that he was a mad man, yet, his words made her cry. Exactly one month after the day that still haunted her, her baby daughter was born. Her baby was sleeping, when she took her into her hands for the first time, she felt beautiful, she felt blessed. Then the baby cried, she heard her voice for the first time. And then, she fainted out of fear. Her worst nightmare had come true. She had a baby daughter, with eyes as red as blood. 

She was born with an exceptional beauty- beauty that scared anyone and everyone. Any man who saw her once would fall for her beauty, any man could be intoxicated, but any man who looked into her eyes would run away.

She was taken to hospitals and all eye treatments resulted in only one thing- more and more blood falling from her eyes. Her parents stopped making any more attempts and it was accepted that she was born with a curse- a curse that scared people to death, whenever she laughed, whenever she cried, whenever she opened her eyes.

She was forced to live in isolation in her room, for people believed that she was born with a curse. She was known as the girl with blood red eyes. Nobody knew that the reason why she cried, nobody cared. She always carried a red rose, she always wore red clothes, she grew up playing with red chillies. She never had any friends. The only things she cheered in her life were these three things.

She cried and shouted whenever someone came to see her. She continued to live with her blood red eyes, red roses and red chillies. She had stopped crying, she had started laughing. She had got used to people being afraid of her. She used to show her red roses to her mother before going to sleep. She used to smile at her and all she saw was tears in her mother's eyes. 

Few years later, her mother was pregnant again. And this time, it was another daughter, a daughter who was a normal baby, who was not cursed. She was locked into her room right after her sister was born. She was not allowed to see her, touch her. She cried and cried, she wanted to show her red roses to her mother. She did not open the door to her. 

One fine day, she ran out of the window and went to see her mother. She started playing with her sister. The moment her family saw her, she was beaten brutally and she was locked again. 

Next morning, when her mother woke up, she saw a red rose in the new born baby's tiny hands. Her heart skipped a beat. The baby's face was covered with a blanket. With trembling hands, she removed it and saw something worse than the biggest shocker of her life. Her eyes were enucleated and removed, all she saw was blood falling. 

That girl with blood red eyes had finally proved that she was born with a curse- but what was the curse about, her blood red eyes or the curse of being called cursed? She never realized this, she simply ran away! 

P.S. 

This story is an outcome of a horribly scary nightmare! And this is for the first time that I am writing something for a competition, I know its crazy!

Do check out this link, its really cool..#Jacob Hills on Amazon 

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A Tale of Three Cities

On 18th August 2012, from Hazrat Nizammudin Station, along with some college buddies, I had started a new journey, away from the city I love to call my birthplace and hometown.. 

Three hundred and sixty five days gone..And I still remember everything like it happened yesterday..I still remember how my parents were anxious and worried, I still remember the endless packing, I still remember our gossip sessions, smiles and tears throughout the train ride.. I remember every damn emotion associated with the commencement of this new phase.

Now when I think of writing a flashback post, trust me, its really hard for me to decide where to begin from.. One year, two completely different jobs in two different cities, independent life away from home, new people, life lessons, what not..

I used to feel that every time one retrospects, the pattern remains the same, the flashback is all about changes, about people coming into and going out of your life, experiences and turning points,smiles and tears..But this is for the first time that I realized how much your life changes just because you shift a few hundred kilometers, as and when you come to a new city! And both fortunately and unfortunately, I have seen such changes twice in the last 12 months..I dedicate this post to the three cities I have lived in - Delhi, Pune and Mumbai..

Dear Pune, I simply love you! 

I don't know how to put this into words, but there is a feel good factor about this city that words can't describe..I may be biased for whenever I was in Pune, I was happy, I was calm, I was free.. 

Coming from a city like Delhi, I tasted freedom and safety for the first time in Maharashtra, I fell in love with the weather, I admired the simplicity, I respected the people there..

Right from learning Marathi to doing household chores, right from fun with office colleagues to movies with my roomie, everything was fun.. I saw happiness in the smallest of things! 

I still remember how I used to call the flat where I stayed "my second home"..

The best thing about this place is that it gives you a balance, where life is not 'fast', where you neither run nor escape, where you simply live!!

Yes, I always missed Delhi, but I feel like thanking this city for memories I will always cherish, for four months of sheer peace and happiness and a sense of real freedom! 

Dear Mumbai, the love-hate relationship continues....

Mumbai fascinates me, intrigues me, amazes me everyday..

It has been 8 months in Mumbai now, but the weird feeling that I share a love-hate relationship with this city, does not seem to fade away at all..

I still find it hard to believe that I can roam around freely at 12 AM and nobody gives a damn, I am enjoying every bit of the night life of the city that never sleeps and I simply love that!
But its ironical how the so called glamorous city with tall buildings and beaches totally sucks as far as infrastructure is concerned..Stinking roads, filthy slums, crowded areas everywhere and travelling becomes a real pain..I swear I hate that more than anything else!
Cliched though it may sound, but life here is actually fast! You don't really get the time to understand, think or realize why you don't have time..This city inculcates in you a weird tendency to be emotional yet indifferent..You start dreaming big, but you learn how to detach yourself from attachments rather quickly, you learn how to keep walking, keep moving ahead, yet, there is something that makes your life melancholic, tired and restless..

But then, you visit Marine Drive, you feel the sea breeze, you observe the sea waves and you smile continuously! Your restless mind discovers peace, your impatient heart feels calm and relaxed.. You are blessed with an amalgamation of tranquility and exhilaration and I love that feeling beyond words!

I saw the worst of myself in Mumbai, it was un-Sonia-ish-ness at its peak in my words..But then, Mumbai gave me people who always loved me, who chose to stand by me even when I was at my worst..

I still happen to be a part of the crowd living in this city and I am continuously exploring it..Mumbai has been challenging so far, but it makes me feel proud all the same!
Back to back blogs dedicated to Mumbai, coming soon!

Dear Delhi, all I have to say is that..

It does not matter where I go or what I do, it does not matter how many years pass by, I hate it when people associate me to any caste/religion/language/community, but I call myself a Delhite, I belong to Delhi... Speaking directly Dil Se, my heart belongs to places inside Delhi, and that's the reason why I call it "Dilli Meri Jaan"

Somewhere close to the Kashmere Gate Campus where I had spent four unforgettable years of my college life, somewhere close to its classrooms and walls where I used to laugh out loud and gossip..

Somewhere close to the Metro Stations and somewhere inside the Metro trains..

Somewhere close to the roads of Rajiv Chowk where I used to hang out with friends..

Somewhere close to the tranquility of Bangla Sahib..

Somewhere close to the delicious Gol Gappe, Tikki and Chhole Bhatoore you won't find in any other city in India..

And of course, somewhere close to the place I call my home, with my mom and dad..

Yes, my heart belongs to you !! 

Next Blog soon!

Wishing myself a happy 'Life in Maharashtra' anniversary!

Cheers!!!

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If Every Child is Legitimate Now, I Support Madras HC

Madras High Court order on pre marital sex and marriage has sparked a controversy which is going viral on net. I have lost the count of the different versions, opinions, judgements, views and above all interpretations that I have read about the same.

Let me just begin with sharing the links for the news :

Couples who have premarital sex to be considered 'married' : says HC

However, I still believe that the title by The Hindu for the link above was somewhat misleading.
Therefore, I would also like to share TOI's article. Its an interesting read.

The very statement "If a couple in the right legal age indulge in sexual gratification, it will be considered a valid marriage and they could be termed as husband and wife." has raised eyebrows, made headlines, been the hot topic for debates all over the country.

While people have been criticizing and ridiculing the verdict, while there have been funny facebook posts "trolling" the pre marital sex=marriage part (without looking at the exact interpretation), while people are questioning the fact that there can't be documentary proofs for sex between a man and a woman, while some say this would actually mean polygamy for those who casually sleep with more than one woman, I feel that considering the present case, there is one aspect that simply can't be ignored, and that is, according to Justice Karnan,

" the petitioner’s rank has been elevated as the `wife’ of the respondent and likewise, the respondent’s rank has been elevated as the `husband’ of the petitioner. Therefore, the children born to them are legitimate children"

And, this statement, precisely, is the reason why I am writing this blog.

No Child Should Be Called "Illegitimate". Period.

For a moment, forget the case, forget the verdict, forget the controversy and the endless articles and blogs about the same. Consider a case where a man and a woman have sex, but they are not married to each other, the woman gets pregnant and eventually gives birth to a child. Now, since they are not a married couple, the child born to them would be an "illegitimate child" for s/he would be born out of wedlock, where the marriage is invalid or void in the eyes of the law. More importantly, such children would be termed as "naajaayaz aulaad" in the eyes of the Indian society forever!

Was it the fault of the child that s/he was born as a result of pre marital sex and not sex after marriage? Why should the child be devoid of proper education, nutrition, bringing up and care? Why should the child carry the psychological and emotional burden of being called 'naajayaz' throughout his/her life?

If Justice Karnan's verdict implies that such children deserve a life beyond the tag illegitimate' ,deserve financial support,education,love and affection ,deserve a life like that of so-called legitimate kids whose parents had had sex only after getting married ,I support such an interpretation of the case!

Yes,I understand that two individuals cannot get married just because of a sexual intercourse and a one night stand. I admit that people,particularly women ,might use such laws for blackmailing others, this may lead to forced marriages too. I do believe that if a woman or a man wishes to be a single mother or a single father to the child, s/he can't be forced. But then, the child will have to suffer because of the word 'illegitimate' as long as he is alive, and may be his own children will also have to suffer for the same.

Thus, in spite of everything, this verdict does hold good for cases where pre marital sex leads to pregnancy and/or child birth. Many girls in India commit suicide in case if they get pregnant and they can't abort the child. Many men in India still use and throw women for lust in the name of love and commitment. Almost all kids born out of sex without marriage go through the mental torture of "being illegitimate"

And the worst part is that irrespective of laws and legal terms, indian society would continue to be equally rigid. Gays and lesbians are still not accepted in our society even after Section 377. Do you think we will ever accept pre marital sex and unmarried pregnant women? Even if a law is introduced to support such kids in all similar cases , society would continue to call them "Naajayaz Aulaad", unmarried pregnant girls would continue to go for illegal abortions and suicide attempts!

The irony is that Indians do not condemn something as brutally illegal as rape as much as they condemn pre marital sex which involves mutual consent. And just like they have no sympathy for rape victims, they have absolutely no acceptance for the "illegitimate children". Perhaps people in India have decided that they would keep their notions, their so-called values and culture above all logics, all ethics, all sympathy and humanity.

Justice Karnan and his verdict has been like a proof to the fact that we, the people of India, love to look at only one side of the coin, and that side is the side which deserves criticism, blames and sarcasm.
If at all we could think of accepting children born after sex without marriage, if at all we could let unmarried pregnant women live their own lives, such a verdict would not have been needed in the first place.

Every newspaper, every blog writer, every other person may have come up with his/her interpretations and views. I have just one thing to say.

I reiterate my words.. "No Child Should Be Called Illegitimate. Period"

Sonia Bhatia

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जो लफ़्ज़ों में न हो पाए बयाँ

जाने क्यूँ वो पूछते हैं हमसे हाल-ए-दिल की दास्ताँ

बेबाक धड़कनों को सुन सको तो जानो

नज़रों का नूर नज़र आये तो जानो

वो जज़्बात ही क्या जो लफ़्ज़ों में हो पाएँ बयाँ


जो ख्व़ाब का हिस्सा हो

जो तसव्वुर का किस्सा हो

वो जो हकीक़त बन जाए तो जानो

वो जुनूँ ही क्या जो लफ़्ज़ों में हो पाए बयाँ


जो अश्कों की हो रही हो बरसात

भीगी पलकों की ख़ुशी समझ सको तो जानो

अधूरे से अल्फाज़, अनकही सी बात

महसूस कर सको तो जानो

वो ग़म, वो ख़ुशी ही क्या जो लफ़्ज़ों में हो पाए बयाँ


जुज़्व-ए-ज़िन्दगी हैं वो पल जो हँसा के जाते हैं

जुज़्व-ए-ज़िन्दगी हैं वो पल जो रुला के जाते हैं

न जाने कितनी मरतबा ये मोड़ आते हैं

न जाने कितने शक़्स आते हैं जाते हैं

ज़हन-ओ-दिल पे मग़र बस कुछ लम्हे छा जाते हैं

वो लम्हे, वो एहसास , वो जूनून, वो सुकून-ओ-सबात

वो हर एक जज़्बात

जो लफ़्ज़ों में न हो पाए बयाँ


This poem is dedicated to all those moments that render us speechless, when the plethora of emotions, the nostalgia, the surreal feeling intoxicates us!
Life is perhaps a summation of all these turning points- those unforgettable moments, when you could not find any words to express yourself !!

Being speechless is an amazing experience, always !!

Feels great to be back to Urdu :)

Next Blog soon !!

Cheers!!!



 

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Marriage MATERIAL or a LIVEly Daughter??

Ever since I have started working in a government organization, people around me keep saying, "your prospects of getting married to a nice guy are brighter and better now " I always feel like laughing at this illogical statement and I fail to understand why a job or its type is linked to marriage in India, more importantly, why is every fucking thing treated as an eligibility criteria for being an ideal marriage material for Indian girls? Right from her looks to her education, right from her health to her job, everything perhaps has one primary objective- to make her eligible for getting married, to make her perfect in every sense, not with an intention to teach her how to be a good citizen/woman/daughter/wife/mother, but with a fear in their minds, a fear that one day she has to get married and her future in laws expect her to be perfect!!
Confused?? Read the following points one by one, please note that every word is TRUE and REAL

• She is a school kid, like all kids of her age ,she loves playing and watching TV much more than cooking and other household chores, but her mother always tells her that if she does not learn how to cook ,she will be in deep trouble after she gets married, in fact ,this would act as a hindrance in their path to find a suitable match for her.. Why do we have to teach our kids in such a fashion that inculcates fear in them, that makes them feel scared of marriage and in laws at the age when they don't even know what marriage is? Why can't we simply tell them that they ought to learn things for their own good ?
• She is a bright student. She has always been a hard working and sincere girl. However, one fine day, when she could not score well in an exam, her mother warned her about competition for jobs , telling her that everyone 'asks' and 'demands' for working women these days..People say that nowadays parents consider education of their daughters as important as education for their sons, the exact reason lies in the previous statement! Can't she have her own ambitions? Shouldn't we ask her to work hard and be independent? Perhaps her own ambitions don't exist for all those people who think she should work only to meet the 'demands' of people looking for a working wife for their sons!
• She was a lively,bubbly college kid, she never cared about what others thought of her, her friends used to call her 'fatty' for she was slightly overweight, it never affected her much! One fine day , her mother told her, " Nobody would marry you if you continue to gain weight like this" and that was the first time when she was affected by a comment! Why can't we ask our daughters to take care of their own health and fitness in the first place? Isn't her well being important otherwise? Why is her being perfectly eligible for marriage more important than her being perfectly fit and fine? Aren't we responsible for making them feel confident ?
• She was a talented, creative fashion designer working for a boutique ,she wanted to have her own startup, but her family insisted that she should think of getting married now for she was 25 already! Why is society's pressure valued more than a girl's dreams and plans? Doesn't she have a right to be ambitious? Who makes these ridiculous rules? 

A mother can never even think of doing something that makes her daughter sad, yet,without realizing the emotional and psychological impact of all these things on her daughter, she continues to do so..why? The answer is simple. Indian parents are the victims of Indian society, they can't stand their daughters being not suitable in the eyes of the society! Sadly, even TV serials and movies promote the same culture, the same ideologies that preach that a girl's life is all about one major life event- marriage and her parents ought to prepare her for that right from the day she is born.

Marriage, undoubtedly , is like the biggest turning point in a person's life! But why do we expect a person to be perfect when we think of getting married? I find it incomprehensibly difficult to believe that people totally forget things like compatibility and mutual understanding! The irony is that they fail to realize that they are looking for a daughter-in-law, who is a human being, with her own flaws, her own qualities, her own beliefs, they are not going to buy a product with desirable configurations and specifications!

The message is simple and is dedicated to all Indian parents with an intention to make them understand something very important. She has her own life, her own identity! She doesn't deserve to be treated like a commodity in a market of cut throat competition! She deserves to be respected!
Love her, care for her , make her feel confident , make her feel beautiful, ask her to respect herself, teach her to love herself the way she is! Ask her to explore the whole world, teach her to be bold, be optimistic! Let her be free, let her discover herself, let her dream, let her aspire, let her strive for success, let her smile, let her be !

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Mumbai Weekends : Marine Drive!!

Wake Up Sid, one of my favorite movies, ends with a beautiful song, boondon ke motiyon mein ghul ke ehsaas aaya, waqt se nikal ke lamha dil ke paas aaya..I have lost the count of the number of times I have watched that scene on youtube, but whenever I think of writing a blog about Mumbai, I tend to recall these lines from Konkana Sen's article, 'New Girl in the City', "jo bhi likhti, lagta ki kuchh kam hai, iss sheher ke bare mei aisa kya keh sakti thi jo pehle nahi kaha gaya" ..for now I can relate to these lines completely.. Right from its beaches to its people, right from its tall buildings to slums, right from its glamour to its lifestyle, there is so much about this city that evokes and arouses the observer, the philosopher, the day dreamer and above all the writer in you, that I simply could not put an end to it in just one article..And, hereby, after a hopelessly long phase without blogs, I am back with a series : Mumbai Weekends!!

Everyone here talks of a so-called fast life, where people fail to find time for themselves, time for their family, time to interact with their neighbors, but even with this fast life, you might not realize but you would always have time to think of your problems..So when you are fed up of your job or your boss, when you are heartbroken after a breakup, when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, or simply need a break from your monotonous life, there is just one place that offers you incredible peace..and that is the subject of the very first blog of the series- Marine Drive.

You will find hundreds of articles describing the place, but you won't find any wiki-google-ish article here, I know nothing about its location or its history, for me, Marine Drive is all about desire, tranquility, ecstasy, love, happiness, freedom, inspiration, fantasies, romance and much more !!

You may stride along the beautiful walkway, you may simply sit and keep on looking at the waves, the rocks, the tall buildings, the enthralling scenic beauty of the palm trees, the heavenly breeze and the amazing view of the horizon which seems totally mesmerizing when the sun sets!
At night, the street lights on the C-shaped road look like a string of pearls and diamonds, popularly known as the 'Queen's necklace'

When you sit on the wall and look at the sea waves hitting the rocks, when you are walking along the promenade and the breeze caresses your hair, even when you are surrounded by so many people, you feel lost for you forget everything else and you tend to enjoy being free, emancipated from all inhibitions and apprehensions, all cobwebs of negative thoughts that preoccupy your mind, which are replaced by the feeling of letting yourself go, getting high !!
Your romantic side turns on when you come to this place, perhaps it is the most suitable place for going out for a date, or for simply sitting and talking to someone, or for day dreaming and fantasizing !!

You will always find a lot of couples there, couples with their public displays of affection, groups of friends clicking pictures, old couples sitting and talking, kids jumping around and people like me, sitting and smiling, enjoying the breeze, the freedom, the feeling that can't be put in words..

One may say that I take it as a medium to escape, but sometimes its better to take a break, when the past and the future becomes unimportant.. Perhaps everyone deserves someone like Marine Drive, someone who can make you feel free, someone who can make you forget everything for a while, someone who won't walk away, would always be there, would always stay, for you...
Such places and such people, aren't about escapism, they are about spending time with yourself, being happy and looking forward to life, for it happens to be beautiful, as beautiful as Marine Drive is!
Whenever I tend to forget this, I just walk around this place, and it get the same feeling again.. life is as beautiful as this place!

Cheers !!

Mumbai weekends always have something interesting to offer, next blog from the series from a hard core Delhite trying to explore the city that never sleeps, coming soon!

Sonia

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Itti si Hansi.. Itti si Khushi

"Itti si hasi, itti si khushi, itta sa tukda chaand ka"
If I say that I'm crazy about this song, it would be an understatement.. I could not let the lyrics off my mind for a month..The reason why I love the song so much is that it reminds me of those small joys of life, those little things that make us smile, that remain unnoticed by us, most of the time, that make us feel that we really don't need big reasons to feel that life is beautiful, all we need is happy moments with small yet great sources of happiness!

Who doesn't feel happy when India wins a match? CWC 2011 wasn't less than a festival for the whole country and the celebration continued for weeks!
Think of those moments when you think of some good old moments and start smiling, when you are with your friends and even the simplest of conversations make you laugh out loud! Don't you feel happy when someone does something just to give you a sweet surprise, just to make you feel special?
For a crazy music lover like me, sometimes, even a song is more than enough to make me happy, to get me high! I keep singing, whistling n humming all the time, and I always have a broad smile on my face, whenever a song is on my mind.
First rain showers of the season..playing with a baby and watching him or her smile at you, holding your finger..receiving naughty, romantic texts from someone and blushing..finding money in pockets of an old shirt or getting free gift vouchers..receiving compliments or listening to simple words of appreciation or praise from people around you, unexpectedly!

I can go on and on with this random list..As the song goes, "dabe dabe paon se, aaye haule haule zindagi", you never know when life would come up with something or someone who makes you smile, you just need to cherish all those moments, the presence of all those people! And, therefore, I respect all festivals and special occasions, birthdays and anniversaries!

Almost all of us must have received "This Diwali, spread happiness" messages from our friends today.. All of us must have exchanged gifts, sweets, chocolates, what not! No other festival comes up with such extravagant expenditure like Diwali does..But, while we spend thousands buying sweets and dry fruits that actually go wasted, while we spend money for crackers that give us nothing more than noise and pollution, there are kids who beg for some food outside the same temples where we go to light candles and diyas..While we decorate our houses, while we get dressed in the best of our traditional clothes, there are rag pickers who wear torn clothes and search for food in garbage..

They say, the best source of happiness is to see a smiling face and know that you are the reason behind the smile! Why don't we celebrate this Diwali trying to give "Itti si hansi.. itti si khushi" to all these kids! While we keep spending money for crackers and sweets and clothes every year, why can't we buy toys and chocolates for kids? Trust me, nothing else can be a better way to celebrate the festival..

From the past half an hour, this blog post was a source of happiness for me! And, I have decided that when I'll go out to a gurudwara or a temple to light candles, I would definitely buy sweets and chocolates for kids there!
For the best way to find "itti si hansi.. itti si khushi" for yourself, is to give the same to someone who really needs it!

A very happy Diwali to all readers! Stay safe, stay happy!

Cheers!!

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From 'Hello Dilli' to 'Kasakai Pune'

After a long long break, it feels really great to be back to blogging.. The past 50 odd days of my life were all about a new phase, a phase of life away from home, away from internet and blogs, exploring new places, new people, new languages..I can go on writing about it all, describing a plethora of emotions, but this blog particularly talks of the city where my second home is, the city that brought a new phase, a drastic change into my life, Pune, Pune (Pimpri Chinchwad) to be precise!

You know you are living in Pune when:

• Every other area of the city has a hopelessly weird name.. Chinchwad, Pimpri, Nigdi, Chikhli, Talwade, Kondhwa, Wakad etc to name a few.. Trust me when I say this, some of them actually sound like swear words.. “Bhosri” tops the list.. Imagine speaking this out, “Bhosri mein jane ka hai”.. For one moment, you would actually feel that you are abusing someone!
• Wherever you go, you’ll find manufacturing firms, plants, IT sector companies, ABC companies, XYZ companies.. In short, this place is a hub for all engineers and MBAs.. You will find young people all around and this is what makes this city so lively!
• On every fucking road, after every 100 odd meters, you will find a hoarding/board that says, 1BHK, 2BHK flats for rent..You will find the same advertisement during commercial breaks of all radio shows..
• The most lovable thing about this city is the incredible weather..Your day would start with the sun shining bright, you’ll find clouds and clouds in the afternoon and you’ll be blessed with “halki halki barish and tez hawa” in the evening..You might keep on walking and you would not get tired at all..You would feel like going out for a long drive, singing out loud, you would discover how weather can affect your mood.. Now that the rainy season is over, I really miss those early September days.. nevertheless, even the October heat is better than the extreme temperatures at Delhi..
• Even outlets like McDonalds and Dominos have their signboards in Hindi/Marathi..You'll find funny Marathi signboards on roads that say, "vaahan hallu chala, kaam chalu aahe" (Go slow. Work in progress) but the irony is that only chaat walas and pani puri walas have their list of items written in English, with abbreviations on top of that..Yes, every pani puri wala's long list of snacks has an abbreviated term called S.P.D.P. included in it, which stands for Sev Puri Dahi Puri..
• Almost half the girls of the city walk with their hair, their face totally covered with a Dupatta..I took a week to understand the logic behind this.. Unfortunately, air pollution is a major problem in the city, and apparently, the most noticeable consequence of the same is hair fall.. Girls are forced to adopt the daakoo style.. Sigh! 
• Even if you are a hard core Delhite, even if you do not know how to speak in Marathi, you develop a tendency to talk in the Marathi-ish tone..Phrases like 'barabar hai', 'aane ka hai', 'jaane ka hai' become a part and parcel of your vocabulary..
•  If you take a direct auto from one place to another, you’ll have to spend 200 bucks, while if you change 3 shared autos for the same distance, it will cost only 15 odd rupees..The same shared autos would never agree to take you to the place directly even if you offer them more than 100 rupees..
• When you come to Pune from a place like Delhi, all of a sudden, you taste freedom that you could never even imagine.. No matter what you wear, no matter at what time you go out, you would always feel safe, nobody would even stare or look at you, leave alone eve teasing.. For this very reason, I not only love this city, I actually respect its people.. Sometimes, I feel like settling into this city forever..Jai Maharashtra!!

Pune has been an awesome place so far and no matter how much I like Pune as a city, whenever I have to travel in shared autos and six seaters, I miss Delhi Metro badly.. I miss metro stations, I miss Cannaught Place, Kashmere Gate, I miss the way I used to read novels, observe people in metro trains.. 

When I say, "My name is Sonia and I am from Delhi", people can never attach any religion, any language, any caste or community to my identity, and this happens to be the best part of being a Delhite! I miss that feeling when people attach religions/communities/languages to different places..

Whenever I have to eat tasteless food at office, I badly miss Delhi’s unbeatable awesome food and above all I miss mom ke hath ka khana.. I miss Delhi’s style..I miss my college, I miss my home! 

Dilli Meri jaan, I will be back soon! 

This is a new chapter, a new life for me..

#StartANewLife

Guys do check out this link here..

Every city is special, and the house where we live in is even more special.. I am in love with my new house in Pune..It is my second home..On that note, do check out this video from housing.com

Cheers!!

Next blog soon! 

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अनजाने सफ़र का नया मोड़

जानी पहचानी सी है फिर भी अनजानी सी,
रोज़ाना लिखती है इक नयी कहानी सी..
कहने को हमारी है ये ज़िन्दगी,
मगर इसपे हमारा इख्तियार कहाँ..
कहते हैं एक सफ़र  है ज़िन्दगी,
किसे मालूम इसका नया मोड़  है कहाँ ..

चलता है यूँ कारवाँ  ज़िन्दगी का,
मुसाफिर ही न जाने कि मंज़िल है कहाँ..
कहीं बंद किवाड़े, कहीं रास्ते मिलते हैं,
बहता है यूँ बहर ज़िन्दगी का,
कश्ती ही न जाने कि साहिल है कहाँ..
कभी तूफ़ान आते हैं, कभी किनारे मिलते हैं..

न मालूम है आने वाले पल का वाक़िया,
न जाने इस नए सफ़र में होना है क्या..
बे एतबारी है, मगर ख़ुशी की  है इक उम्मीद सी,
जोश है, जूनून है, तो थोड़ी उदासी भी है ख़ुशामदीद सी..

फ़लसफ़ा ज़िन्दगी का यूँ तय किया हमने,
कि बे ऐतबारी में भी सुकून की उम्मीद करते हैं हम,
कि अनजाने सफ़र में भी मंज़िल को टटोलते हैं हम..
जहाँ चाहे ले जाये ज़िन्दगी का सफ़र,
चलते चलते उसके हर रास्ते को माशीयत समझ,
इस सफ़र का हर नया मोड़ तस्लीम करते हैं हम..

I had written this poem while I was waiting for some answers, trying to deal with uncertainty, for its funny how the unknown, the uncertain is often the reason behind so many human emotions- Curiosity, anxiety, excitement, worry, fear, insecurity and in most of the cases a combination of all these !
Now that I'm posting this poem, ..I feel that while a new journey is about to begin, you should go with the flow, let your heart guide you, let your faith support you, let the fear of uncertainty turn into excitement and zeal..
Uncertainty (be aetbaari ) in life does exist even now, but so does the patience to wait and the hope, the belief that whatever will happen, would be for the better !!

Cheers! 

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Still Blaming Your Life n Luck??

Before I commence with the post, let me share a quote..

"Happy moments, praise God.. Difficult moments, seek God.. Quiet moments, worship God.. Painful moments, trust God..Every Moment, Thank God.."
This is a very popular quote, with around 300k likes on facebook..You all might say that you like it, but then, ask yourself, why do we blame our life and luck for every small thing that goes wrong? Even if you are an atheist, even if you think that the entire concept of the existence of God is pointless and illogical, simply ask yourself,  "Am I not lucky? Why shouldn't I thank goodness, thank my stars for being happy? And if you do not believe in destiny or luck, if you believe in karma, why do you conclude that your life isn't good when things don't go your way?"

I had written a 55 fiction blog with the same title once, and a discussion about "people with mental and physical disabilities" made me feel that I am not only lucky, I am blessed, blessed with life and liveliness, and here is a list of reasons why I feel so :

• While I can enjoy the luxury of sitting in an air-conditioned room and writing a blog, there are many kids who would never be able to read or write, not because they are underprivileged, but because they cannot even sit or talk or listen, because they were born with an incurable physical deformity..

• While I admire nature and its beauty, while I enjoy looking at the moon, the sky, the rains, there are hundreds of blind men and women, who cannot experience the same..

• While we all talk of women and their rights, there are some mentally challenged girls who are molested, raped by their own relatives and unfortunately, in cases where they become pregnant, they are blamed and disowned by the families..They are thrown into mental hospitals and shelter homes so that they can survive somehow and those inhuman criminals who abused them continue to live freely..

• While we crib about breakups, lost friendships and misunderstandings, there are many kids who need artificial limbs to survive, people who look really ugly or unusual because of horrible, rare diseases and as far as the mentally sick kids are concerned, they are actually treated as a threat, as a danger, people feel afraid of them..Observe how their mothers cry looking at their faces, and you'll realize, being a normal kid is being lucky in itself..

• While I write blogs/read novels/watch movies about life and philosophy, there are hundreds for whom, surviving itself is a struggle..hundreds who are going through a lifeless life, in such a critical state that their own family members pray for their death..Imagining what they go through, scares the hell out of me..

And when you read this blog, please don't feel pity for all these people..People with physical or mental disabilities need your love, care, affection and support..You need not sympathize, but you ought to empathize..The next time you see a pregnant teenager, for God's sake do not call her a slut, she could be a rape victim..The next time you see a child with a disability, instead of feeling pity for him, feeling scared or sad, go and play with him, or simply give him/her a hug!

I have decided that I will celebrate every special occasion of my life, every festival distributing sweets and toys to kids in orphanages and asylums.. Mind you, this is not social service, this is for my own contentment..Believe me when I say this, the biggest source of happiness is to know that you are the reason behind someone's smiles..

Now, the main purpose of writing this blog is to make myself and others realize that no matter how tough situations may be, at every point of time, we ought to know that self-pity is absolutely useless and cursing our life or luck solves no purpose other than making us weaker..Here goes a second list, a list of people who can always inspire you :

• Nick Vujicic, the famous preacher and motivational speaker who was born with no legs and no arms wrote a book called "Life Without Limits".. He is an inspiration for millions today, I actually wanted to write a complete blog about him..these words by him, say it all, “I believe in a God who can do all things, but if He chooses not to give me arms and legs, I know it's for the better. And I may not understand it, but all I need to know is that He's going to carry me through, that there is a purpose for it.”

• Sudha Chandran, Natalia Patryka, Helen Keller, Stephen Hawking.. these names do not need any introduction, even they had an obstacle of a deformity, a disability..yet they achieved what people with perfect health aren't able to..

• A blind girl works at my dad's office..She is a great singer, so lively, so bubbly, so sanguine that its almost unbelievable for everyone..All of us meet such people, you may feel pity for the hardships they face, you may feel inspired by their spirit, choice is yours !!

And to sum up, this is what the year 2012 has taught me, sharing an old status update here :

Above sadness and happiness, there exists a virtue of goodness, governed by acceptance and patience..People walk away because whenever someone leaves, someone else is about to arrive..You feel hurt so that you can learn to let go, people do not put in efforts to get you back so that you can experience that your life is equally beautiful without them..You fail to crack an exam because someone else had worked harder than you, and if you had actually struggled, you would get more than what you expect,in some way or the other,unexpectedly..Your family members face serious health problems so that you can realize the importance of faith in God..No matter what you go through, you are definitely doing better than many others, and therefore, there must be no space for self-pity in your life..After every tough phase, you would see how perfectly and beautifully life moves on.. And there's one n only one style that's perfect, that style is to smile, to smile and be thankful to God, to your parents, to everyone who ever made you smile, to smile and live every moment to the fullest, to smile and celebrate life!

Cheers !!

P.S. Do check out this link here.

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Sensual Songs & Musical Seductions

Ever wondered what can be mesmerizing, surreal, soft, sweet, soothing, sensuous, erotic, crazy, loud, sexy, classy, emotionally arousing at the same time? There's one and only one answer- music !!
And when I say I can't live without it, I really mean it ! My day starts with a song daily (I love to call it 'Song of the Day').. I can keep on talking about my favorite songs for hours!!
And as far as genres are concerned, right from old Hindi songs to romantic English tracks..right from appreciating nature's beauty via awesome lyrics like "Kaisi hai ye rut" to dancing madly to the beats of foot tapping Punjabi songs..right from sad songs to the ones that get you high..I enjoy everything..but I personally believe that nothing can be more alluring than seductive songs for they appeal to your senses in a way that can't be described in words and I really love most of the songs of the genre..Here goes a list of the top 8 Hindi seductive songs!! Hope you enjoy it !!


#8 Aur Ho - Rockstar

Click here to download 
While I'm writing this blog, I'm listening to the song simultaneously, and falling in love with Mohit Chauhan's magical voice all over again..Check out the lyrics here..
"Ras hasrat ka nichod doon.. kass baahon me aa todh doon" This song describes longing and craving for someone at its best..The bebasi, the burning desire, the passion, the sighs make it a real seductive track..Ranbir Kapoor and Nargis Fakhri add to the sensuality of the video..Hats off to every artist who was involved in making this song.. In one word, it really is "surreal"

#7 Aa ja piya tohe pyar doon 
Listen to the original track by Lata Mangeshkar here  and this is the link to the lyrics 
"jal chuke hain badan kai piya isi aag me, thake hue in hathon ko de de mere hathon me" 
Perhaps real satisfaction and pleasure lies in giving the same to someone and this is what makes this song so unique and so beautiful, so sensuous yet so pure..The theme of the song isn't 'you are all mine', it is, 'I'm all yours'..More than seduction, it talks of love, care and affection..The original video stars Rajesh Khanna and Asha Parekh but I wasn't able to upload it, and I didn't want to share any remix..

#6 Bedardi Raja 
 Listen to the song here .. I'm not sharing the video for I don't really like it..
Undoubtedly, the best part of the song is the wonderful desi lyrics and Sona Mohapatra's unique voice adds on to the flavor! "Rom rom daude re bijli, marode kalai jab tu, marode kalai" 
Her voice, her expression and her style completely lived up to the feel of the song and the seductiveness of the lyrics! "Bedardi raja, jara paas toh aa ja" Amazing track!

#5 Aao Na, gale lagao na 

Asha Bhosle's voice is absolutely superb, no wonder people call her an Enchantress..
"Tumne jo agan lagayi hai, wo chhoo ke dekho na, kahan kahan.. Dekho, seene me kaisi hulchul machi hai, o saajna" 
This is what you call a flawless song with perfect lyrics..The theme itself is so seductive, with great music by PanchamDa..Helen looks totally sexy in the video! 

#4 Jaadu hai, nasha hai 

Click here to download and listen 
I am in love with Shreya Ghoshal's voice, I am in love with lyrics, I am in love with the song!
Bipasha Basu looks really hot in the video, and the line "Dekhti hain jiss tarah se, teri nazrein mujhe.. main khud ko chhupaun kahaan" says it all..
I can't find words to describe how sensuous, how exhilarating this song is! Goes without saying, it is magical and intoxicating, jaadu hai, nasha hai !

#3 Tip Tip Barsa Pani 

You may forget the song, you may forget the lyrics, but you can never forget the video, the rain dance and Raveena Tondon's sari !!  She looks super hot in the wet yellow sari.. Her dance, her sexy attire and the lyrics, "teri yaad aayi toh jal utha mera bheega badan".. Seriously, as far as this song is concerned, pani ne waqai me aag laga di.. The music gets you high and the video gets you higher! Enjoy the song, check out the lyrics here 




#2 Raat Akeli Hai, Bujh Gaye Diye 

People may call Asha Bhosle 'The Enchantress'.. I call her 'The Queen of Sensuous & Seductive Songs'
Her voice is mesmerizing, intoxicating, captivating and what not! It gets you high, it really does..I start singing this song, I try n feel it, try n enjoy it, and I actually start acting as if I'm drunk !! That's the impact of the song! "Tum aaj mere liye ruk jao, rut bhi hai fursat bhi hai..Tumhe na ho na sahi, mujhe tumse mohabbat hai, mohabbat ki ijazat hai, toh chup kyun rahiye, jo bhi chahe kahiye" 
I can never forget these lines, for this song is a timeless classic !

#1 Roop Tera Mastana, Pyar Mera Deewana 

No matter what, this song is unbeatable, it was/is/will be the most seductive song in the history of Indian music! I swear I can write a complete blog about it.. First of all, Kishore Kumar's voice is matchless, he sang it so beautifully that right after the song starts, you begin to enjoy the feeling.. Secondly, S D Burman's music is like a treat to your senses..The lyrics is completely seductive..Check it out here..Everything about the video is awesome, the fire, the rain, the expressions, the mood, the chemistry!!
Sharmila Tagore looks sexy, and of course, no other actor could have performed it better than Rajesh Khanna! Some songs are unforgettable for all generations, this song is one of them!
Click here to download and listen 

Three out of eight songs were picturised on Rajesh Khanna..And its very unfortunate that Roop Tera Mastana's hero is no more! He was not only the first superstar of Bollywood, he was a charismatic personality, the king of romance, the heartthrob.. He gave us so many movies full of life, so many unforgettable songs, so many wonderful performances..This blog would have been incomplete without this tribute..May his soul rest in peace! But as they say, the show must go on, we continue to listen to his songs, watch his movies and smile!! 

Many songs fall in the same category. The list would always remain incomplete. Some other sensual songs that I really like are Bheege Honth Tere, Zara Zara Mehekte hai, Baahon mein chale aao, baahon ke darmiyaan, lag ja gale and many more!! Please suggest similar songs, feel free to post any kinda comments!

A sincere and humble request.. please do not attach words like cheap, vulgar, offensive to the words seductive and sensuous..Music, in itself, is so pure that it should never be associated with such adjectives.. It makes you happy, it heals you! Sensuality and seductiveness is just another genre, I really like it and therefore, I wrote this post about my favorite songs from the category! Enjoy the music! Cheers!!

Sincerely

A Crazy Music Lover !! 

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बेबाक दिल की तमन्ना है

हुई  मुद्दत  कि  इज़्तिराब  में  जी  रहे  थे  हम,
तस्व्वुर  में  सुकून-ओ-सबात  देखते  थे  हम,
बेचैन  दिल  की  तमन्ना  है,
तसव्वुफ़  में  ज़िन्दगी  गुज़ार  दे  दिल..

कहते  हैं  तकदीर  से  बनती  है  ज़िन्दगी,
कभी  अब्र  से  अश्क  बरसाती  है,
जो  कभी  तकदीर  बदले  तो
इत्मीनान  की  इनायत  देती  है  ज़िन्दगी..

दिल  ने  कहा  खुद  पे  यकीन  कर  लो,
दिल  ने  कहा  माशीयत  को  कुबूल  कर  लो,
ज़िन्दगी  मुस्कुराना  सिखा  देगी,
ज़ख्म-ए-ग़म  देने  से  पहले..
बेख़ौफ़  दिल  की  तमन्ना  है,
क़िस्मत  से  लड़  गुज़रे  दिल..

किसी  शायर  की  शायरी  में,
किसी  मुसन्निफ़  की  हिकायत  में,
दिल  को  तलाश  है,
दिल  से  इत्तेफाक़  हो  मज़मून  उस  मक्तूब  का,
बेनज़ीर  दिल  की  तमन्ना  है,
दिल  की  दास्ताँ  को  बयान  कर  दे  दिल..

बेकसी  का  मुअम्मा  हल  करने  चला  था  क़ाफ़िर,
खुदा  की  वज़्म  में  जाना  कुव्वत-ए-यकीन  क्या  है,
बेबाक  दिल  की  तमन्ना  है,
दिल  ये  जाने  कि  तसव्वुफ़  में  कैसा  होता  है  हाल-ए-दिल..


This poem talks about "Tasavvuf" ..  Tasavvuf is the path of Sufi-ism, that is based on Ishq-e-haqiqi (love of God)
The line.. "tere ishq me bhi jo bhi doob gaya, use duniya ki lehron se darna kya" describes sufi-ism completely..

It is difficult to explain the exact meaning of the word, for different people interpret it in different ways..This is my interpretation..
Tasavvuf is known as the inner, spiritual dimension of Sufi-ism, where 'ibadat' and 'ishq' mean the same.. when you feel connected to God and explore eternal happiness.. When you are in love with the divine, the supreme, you do not fear anything, you get rid of all apprehensions, all worries, forever..
I, being an agnostic, believe that spirituality must not be linked with any particular religion, tasavvuf is a path that enables one to discover the essence of his/her being and I really wish to know more about it..

This poem was an attempt to express how I wish to explore Tasavvuf !
All kinda comments about the poem, tasavvuf, about sufism are most welcome!
Cheers !!

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Beauty is Confidence.. Confidence is Beauty

Part-I 

Ananya and Kinshuk were sitting on the ground with folded legs, pulling up the grass, looking at the sky, day dreaming, looking at each other, smiling.. Sometimes, silence mesmerizes you, for memories captivate your thoughts..

And, Kinshuk said..

"Anu, you know, that was the place where I saw you for the first time, the coffee shop.."

"Yeah, and I also remember the conversation we had, word-by-word.. It was hilarious.. The first thing that I had noticed about you was your sense of humor"

"I know! I know! All girls are mad about my sense of humor! Nothing new!"

"Shut up!"

"Hey Anu! I can have a bet that you've no clue about the first thing that I had noticed about you! "

"Oh..Really! What was it? Lemme guess! Must be my simplicity!"

"Well, I admire your simplicity..I feel that its something that defines you..But that's not the right answer to my question.."

"What was it Kinshi? Tell me now! At least give me a hint!"

"Ohk..It is something that everyone must have noticed about you, just like your simplicity!"

"You were right! I'm not getting what you're talking about! What was it? I wanna know..I'm curious now"

" When I saw you for the first time, I noticed that there was something amazing about your face, and that was your confidence..the confidence that I see whenever I look into your eyes, that makes you look so beautiful, that makes everything perfect for you, for me, for us..that drives me crazy about this crazy girl called Ananya Verma! "

"You render me speechless, Kinshuk Sarkar.. I dunno what to say!"

And the two pairs of eyes met again.. The silence was much more enthralling now..

Ananya could not stop thinking about those words..People around her always admired her confidence..She was not only invincibly sanguine, but also a girl who preached about self-love and self-belief, a girl who was an inspiration for those who do not love themselves..But then, she kept asking herself, "Is it Kinshi's love for me that makes him feel so or is it actually my confidence that makes me look beautiful? What exactly makes a girl, a woman, beautiful?"

*********

Part-II

With the last line of the fictitious conversation, commences the real blog.. What exactly makes a girl, a woman beautiful?

If you talk of a body with perfect curves, a flawless figure, the word is not beautiful, the word is hot or sexy.. If you talk of a sweet smile, chubby cheeks, the word is not beautiful, the word is bubbly or cute..
If you talk of great dressing sense with perfect accessories, the word is smart or stylish..
If you talk of make up and hair styling, the word is pretty..
However, all these women might be beautiful, but these aren't answers to the question, what exactly makes a girl, a woman beautiful? 

When a girl child asks endless cute questions from her father, its her innocence that makes her beautiful..

When a girl says to her best friend, "Don't worry, I'll take care of everything..Smile now!".. its her care that makes her beautiful..

When a girl falls in love, its the ecstasy and magic of love that makes her beautiful..

When a woman gives birth to a baby and takes him in her hands for the first time, it makes her feel that her child completes her, and perhaps, this feeling makes her beautiful..

When a woman makes sacrifices and compromises for her family, and even then, she smiles, its her selflessness that makes her beautiful..

Its her courage, her benevolence, her tolerance, her strength that makes her beautiful..

If you ask me to define beauty.. I really cannot do that, for beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.. but I do know that, in some way or the other, every girl is beautiful, every woman is adorable..

Part- III 

This blog is not about physical appearance vs inner beauty..The reason why I'm writing this post is that some women have actually lost their confidence, the eternal beauty, for they desperately wish to be "physically appealing"..

Yes, I feel pity for those girls who suffer from an inferiority complex, who envy the ones who look better than them.. At the same time, I feel that the ones who live with vanity and narcissism are merely arrogant fools, for physical appeal is always short-lived, unlike self-confidence.. No matter how great you look, if you feel disappointed when you receive less facebook comments and likes on your pictures, if your confidence level is dependent on the number of compliments you receive, if you like to dress up like what others expect, rather than the way you like to see yourself, I pity you ! Above all, I pity girls who have lost their confidence after a guy dumped them for a so-called hot chick, for beauty is not about what he thinks or he likes, its about what you feel about yourself.. 

You may go to a parlor for make up, you may go to a gym for weight loss, you may feel great when you receive compliments, you may try endless beauty products and beauty treatments, you may have a complete makeover, but nothing at all can inculcate the confidence in you, the way you yourself can.. And confidence is something that adds on to your beauty like nothing else does..

Confidence is the first postulate of what we call style..You cannot be a stylish person if you follow what others do, a style statement is something that uniquely identifies you!

With your head held up high, with perfect optimism and self-belief in your mind and heart, being confident about who you are, what you are and what you can do, is the secret to eternal beauty..Yes, there is no beauty that is attractive without confidence..

When you feel confident, you are not only more beautiful, but also you radiate the beauty, you make the whole world around you beautiful.. You mesmerize, you influence, you shine, you rule!

So, always smile and make the whole world smile with you!
Cheers !!!

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