Whenever I read 'Listen To Your Heart?' now, I feel like laughing at my own stupidity...in fact I feel like deleting it.. This blog has got nothing to do with the story described in it... its something new, something fresh n comes up with answers.. answers to the idiotic n immature queries in our minds n hearts!!!!
Part-I
Third semester was going on smoothly.. Still it was like a 'hulchul bhara sem', hulchul in my mind ..hulchul in my heart too!!! There was this dumb guy, I hardly knew him three years back, but I got to know him better in the third sem.. Wait..I never had a crush on him or something.. You see, such stupid things are not meant for a person like me..But somehow I felt that there was nobody like him, I still donno the reason for the same.. From his sense of humour to his cute looks, from his intelligence to his style, I had started liking everything about him..The one n only thing that I used to dislike was the way he talked..he never talked much bout himself, I used to hate that..I used to keep thinking bout our conversations on gtalk n through messages, I used to try my level best to help him out every time he was worried or upset.. Shit.. Crap..F**k It took me bloody so many months to realise that I was in love with a guy.. No,somehow my mind was still not able to believe that this was true.. Was I really in love??
Darr lagta hai tanha rehne mein ji.. Dil To Bachchaa Hai Ji!!!Part -II
I used to hate him... yes, I started hating him for n number of reasons.. He used to ignore me at times,he didnt pick my calls,he used to ignore my text messages.. I used to hate him for the way he used to make me laugh at his silly PJs.. for the way I was crazy bout his weird style n his not-so-good cute looks..I used to hate the way he never talked bout himself, coz I wanted to know him better.. n the way I used to like him for no reason... He was the most hatable person I knew, yes he was self- centered,least bothered bout me.. but I could not hate him at all coz I loved him so much.. He made me realise what 'nostalgia' means...why the hell should I love him without any expectations, why should my love be unconditional, why doesnt this idiot realise how much I love him... that he is so very lucky.. that someone is crazy about him... I should tell him that, or should I not?
Dil sa 'kamina' na koi hai ji.. Dil to bachcha hai ji!!!
Part-III
My mind tried to convince me that this is sheer stupidity n nothing else..My mind kept on reminding me that you are a mature person..a tomboyish, intelligent girl..You cant be crazy about a guy like him.. Moreover, third sem isnt easy.. you need to concentrate hard..So I decided to accept that he doesnt like me the way I do n move on.. I decided that things like love n relationships cant affect a person like me.. Am going to enjoy my life unlike those idiots who waste there time thinking about a person.. I love my friends, my family,they all love me too... n above all.. I love myself.. So why do I need a dumbo like him in my life..Logically,he doesnt deserve me.. Yes, I decided not to call him.. not to send any messages to him, not
to reply to his mails, not to comment on his blogs.. I decided to do exactly what he used to do.. Moreover, I didnt have the time to think.. November and December are like really busy months in an engineer's life... But still, Was I right?
Darr lagta hai usse kehne mein ji.. Dil To Bachcha Hai Ji!!!
Part- IV
It was December end.. Majors were also over..Forgetting him wasnt easy.. I used to miss his messages in my inbox, his scraps in my scrapbook.. his presence in my life!!I used to re-read our conversations n number of times in a day,but I had stopped replying to his new mails.. probably there was this ego.. ego somewhere within me..Then it was on the very first day of the year 2010, early in the morning, that he called me up..somehow my heart was excited, it was happy..
He said "Hi! Happy New Year".. "Same to you" I replied... For around two to three minutes, both of us didnt speak anything.. Finally , he said "long time!"
"yeah"
"So, yar you didnt reply to my messages..."
"actually....."
" I can understand... I called to say sorry for the way I didnt pick your calls"
"Its okay.. I am sorry too"
"No, you don need to be sorry... listen.. I wanted to say something"
"what?"
"I missed you alot", he said.
"I missed you too"
"not like this... Can we... Can we meet.. tomorrow, please?"
"where ?"
"any place .. Rajiv Chowk?"
"Ok.. When"
"2 o clock"
"ok"
I felt as if I was suffering from schizophrenia..as if this was a hallucination..I still remember I couldn sleep that night...Then we met,yes,we met at the Rajiv Chowk Metro Station.. I wont give the details of what happened there..Let it be a secret.All I can say is that those were the most unforgettable 40 minutes of my life..Now I dont hate him for the way he talks.. I know thats the way he is.. I dont hate him for anything at all.. He is happy.. I am happy.. Life is beautiful!
Kya darr hai dil ki yun sunne mein ji... Dil To Bachcha Hai Ji!!!
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MORAL: Well usually morals of stories are one liners.. but you know me,I just cant cut things short.. I still dont know the difference between a crush and true love, I still dont know how love happens to be unconditional, selfless.. but the best part is that I really dont want to know all that.. Love is something incredibly beautiful, beautifully incredible.. It will find a way and come into your life...
Yes, these crushes are stupid, kiddish, immature.. but at the same time, they are cute.. love is a mysterious thing, let it be mysterious.. dont try to explore it.. It is something meant to be accepted... meant to be felt, experienced n enjoyed..Dil to bachcha hai.. Jab We Met ki baat yaad rakho, bachchon jaisi baat hai na, to bachchon jaisi baat me hi to maza aata hai! Agar ye kamina bachcha tumhe khud hi confuse karta hai.. to mera favourite love aaj kal ka dialogue hai na " Shayad ye Bhagwan Shagwan naam ka item waqai me hai jo ultimately sab kuch set kar deta hai"
Stop analysing about the right n wrong, the good n bad.. Dont waste time in useless philosophies.. If you are a teenager, you are too young to realise what true love is..Yes, you don need to understand every damn thing in this universe...
Express yourself, express your feelings to others... its really important!
Dont be disappointed if things dont turn out the way you wanted them to be.. Something even better will happen to you in future.. there might be someone who loves you more than what you could have ever imagined..you must be happy if you are single, you must be equally happy even if you are committed.. Love yourself, love everything n everyone around you!!Life is really sexy! Enjoy!!]
PS (Very Very Important) :1. This story is a work of imagination n fiction.. this has got nothing to do with me or any other person, living or dead..Any resemblance would be a mere coincidence.
2. Trust me, there is no inspiration at all, one doesnt need to have a crush on someone to write such a blog.. if you still dont trust me.. keep wondering about the inspiration!
3. Snehil Basoya, Thanks for posting my comment on your blog :) It made me realise that I am capable of writing such blogs! N thanks for the advice " Hum blogs kisliye likhte hain, Samaaj Seva ke liye"..
4. This post was written without any planning.. I jus listened to the song thrice n felt that it is worth writing a blog, then I started writing all of a sudden n this story came up automatically..
5. Haye zor kare, kitna shor kare..
Bewajah baaton pe aiwen gaur kare..
Dil sa koi 'kamina' nahi...
Tauba ye lamhe katte nahi kyun
Aankhon Se meri hatte nahi kyun..
I love this song.. Dil To Bachcha Hai Ji.... Thoda Kachcha Hai Ji...
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Vishal Bhardwaj had himself asked me to promote Ishqiya through my blogs.. I could not refuse.. Its a must watch! ]
Sonia Bhatia
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