DATE A GUY WHO OBSERVES !!

[ This is my version of the "Date a Guy Who.. " series ! Famous blog posts from the series include "Date a Guy who Writes", "Date a Guy Who Reads" and "Date a Guy Who Loves Music"...]

Unlike reading and writing, observing is not a hobby..It is an observer's natural ability, a part and parcel of his basic instincts..Observation, in philosophical terms, is not at all similar to introspection or retrospection.. It is a timeless and dynamic process of continuous learning, that always helps one to live in the present..A real observer beholds things that others cannot even notice, perceives things that others cannot even imagine..And, therefore, observers among both men and women are rare.. Goes without saying, you're lucky if you find one..So, lets start with the blog, based on an observer's random observations! 

DATE A GUY WHO OBSERVES !

Date a guy who not only tells you how beautiful you are, but tells you what exactly what makes you beautiful.. Yes, he would notice something new about you everyday..He would tell you about things that distinguish you from all other girls around you, things about you that you might have never noticed yourself !

He would love you for who you are and not for how you look! Right from your simplicity to your confidence, right from your intelligence to your madness, he would admire everything about you..Right from your weird traits to your idiotic mood swings, he would not only observe it all, but also understand you, understand things about you that no one else does..

He observes, he listens, he learns, he explores, he visualizes, he wants to know more ! This makes him a sensible person and trust me when I say this, you might have met a lot of intelligent guys, but sensible guys are rare ! He would notice the pain in your eyes when the whole world believes that your fake smile means that you're happy..Share your problems with him, speak your heart out, he would listen with an incredible patience, and always come up with a solution..

Never lie to him, because you simply cannot afford to do that ! But the best way to irritate him is to pretend that you're hiding something.. No matter how sensible or how intelligent he is, curiosity is his biggest weakness! Tell him that someone else knows you better than what he does, tell him that there is a secret that you cannot share with him, and he would go crazy out of curiosity, out of envy..Yes, he envies all those guys (and even girls) who know things about you that he does not, who talk to you more than what he does..Try to play pranks with him and he would pretend that he knows nothing, while he knows everything.. Yes, observers actually pretend their ignorance just to see that smile on your face, and this is, perhaps, the cutest thing about them!

Date a guy who observes because he flirts in a really unique style! He won't ever use the cliched filmy dialogues and fake promises to impress you..But if you look at yourself through his eyes, you would be flattered, for whatever he says, he says out of his own observations, and therefore, he means it!

He won't write typical romantic poems on your birthday, but he would write long notes that exclusively talk about you and every small thing about you that he finds funny, that he finds cute, that he finds awesome! His sense of humor is also an outcome of his brilliant observation skills and wits, he would make you laugh, he would come up with cute nicknames almost daily..

He does not believe in fairy tale romance, but he happens to be a romantic guy..His style of romance is, however, really different..Get naughty with him and he would get naughtier, act like a kid and he would pamper you.. Irrespective of your mood, he would always get to know what you want, for observation is timeless, and he always has the urge to know you, to know what you feel and what you desire..

He loves surprises.. He likes intelligent girls.. He loves intellectual conversations..His behavior might seem to be idiosyncratic at times, but you would start enjoying his idiotic side as well.. Listen to him, talk about anything and everything under the sun, share your views about things that interest him.. He would easily forgive you even if you are at your worst, but you should never doubt him! He expects you to have faith in him and nothing would hurt him more than seeing doubt in your eyes.. There is no place for over-possessiveness, suspicions and insecurities in your life for you are dating an observer, for you are blessed to have him and he deserves to be trusted !

Date a guy who observes because you deserve it ! You deserve someone who knows you and understands you well..You deserve someone who loves you the way you are..You deserve someone who means what he says.. You deserve a guy who knows the worst of the things about you, but genuinely admires you, and above all, date a guy who observes because, "Love is, when someone gradually takes you to who you are, rather than what he wants you to be"

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When Will You STOP BLAMING the VICTIM?!

[ This post is a medium to vehemently protest against something that happens to be totally outrageous and unfair.. You may call me a feminist and I don't care if you use adjectives like blatant, blunt or offensive to describe this blog, for even if some people realize what I wish to convey, I will be really satisfied as a writer, and more importantly, as a girl..]

A tenth standard student gang-raped in Noida

While there was a wave of rage throughout NCR, while UP Women's Panel issued notice against Noida police for revealing the victim's identity, the case also became a subject of gossip and meaningless criticism, and, surprisingly, the criticism was not against the rapists, it was against the victim !
Yes, I myself heard people around me say, "This was bound to happen..Such girls deserve this" ..I find it incomprehensibly difficult to describe my reaction to these absurd statements.. She deserved it ?? She deserved it just because she went out for a birthday party with five guys at night, and she was supposedly drunk when they raped her? How the hell could people forget that she had been brutally assaulted, that she has lost her dignity, her freedom to live peacefully, her happiness, forever !!

We live in a society where people love to blame the victim !! No one noticed that she was raped because someone raped her, but everyone did notice that she went out with men at night and she was drunk !

This is what cops in India have to say about rape cases.. Atrocious, shameful and unbelievable statements (Courtesy : Today's TOI, City Page)
" Ye ladkiyan peeti hain aur aapke saath sex bhi karti hain, jis din koi thok dega, rape ho jayega" (These girls drink and also have sex with you. The day somebody uses force, it becomes rape)

" Aasaan nahi hota uske liye. Beizzati se sabhi darti hain. Asliyat me yahan wahi aati hain jo dhandhe me lipt hoti hain" ( Its never easy for the victim to report rape. Everyone is scared of humiliation. In reality, the ones who complain are only those who have turned rape into a business)

Will these cops come up with the same statements if the same thing happens to their daughters? How can they be so insensitive?

This blog is not only about the Noida rape case's victim, this blog is about every girl who is blamed for being a victim..
She went out for an evening walk, two men on bike came, hit her on her back and ran away even before she realized what had happened.. She went back home, she was scared, she told her mother..She was expecting her mother to abuse those eve teasers, but she scolded her own daughter.. and she was BLAMED for wearing a sleeveless top and a skirt, and asked not to wear the same again..This is, perhaps, the story of every Indian girl.. Yes, she is the VICTIM.. She is a victim of circumstances, she is a victim of the Indian society and Indian culture..she is a victim of the eve teasers..She feels scared for she knows that her city is unsafe for women..She feels violated when someone tries to hit her or touch her..She feels humiliated when men stare at her and her assets..She feels disgusted when her family tells her that its unsafe to go out to market alone at night..

When? When will you stop blaming her? When will you stop blaming all those women who get raped, who are living a lifeless life, full of humiliation, devoid of dignity, devoid of happiness?
Does a woman deserve to be raped just because she drinks? People say that its justified if guys drink, girls should not drink because its morally, ethically wrong.. Why are morals and ethics different for girls and guys?
They say that women wearing skimpy and transparent outfits, flaunt their bodies, and this is bound to attract and provoke any man at all.. But does that give them the right to rape her, to assault her, to spoil her life?
They talk of the so-called Indian culture.. Its against the Indian culture to wear skimpy clothes, its against the Indian culture to drink..If at all the Indian culture says that a woman who drinks is a "sex object" and men have the right to rape her, if at all the Indian culture says that someone who wears a mini skirt is a slut, I feel ashamed of it..I find it ridiculous as well as sick..How the hell can people justify those mother-f***ers and criminals who rape women? Isn't that against culture, against humanity? Perhaps this is the first postulate of the male dominant society in India, one always blames women for anything at all that goes wrong..

For God's sake, stop !! Stop blaming her ! Stop blaming her for wearing sleeveless tops and mini skirts if eve teasers comment on her, for she is the victim ! Stop blaming her when you watch her MMS clips, for someone else had morphed her pictures, and she is the victim.. Stop blaming her for wearing skimpy clothes, because no matter what she wears, she will always be a "sex object" for the rapists..I had watched a prostitute's interview on television, and this is what she had to say about rape cases in India , "Had there been no prostitutes, the number of rape cases would start increasing at an alarming rate"..This says it all..
She is sexually abused, harassed, blackmailed..She feels scared, she does not have the right to be free.. She is suffering and she is the victim.. Yet, men and women, cops and rapists, society and culture, everyone blames her!

This blog comes as an appeal.. If you really understand and agree,protest, protest and fight against anyone who blames her, anyone who blames the victim.. If you feel that what I wish to convey is right, please share this ! And remember, merely sharing of such pictures and blogs won't solve the purpose, we have to bring a change.. A change in the society, a change that happens to be the need of the hour..And the first step towards this change would be,to change your own mentality, the next time you hear about a rape victim, please do not think of reasons to blame her, do remember that, blaming a victim can never be justified !

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