WHEN A LIFE IS WORTH LESS THAN HONOUR

Honour killing..perhaps the most ironical phrase of the english language and the most shameful, brutal, heinous crime possible...

A girl was burnt alive for being in a relationship with a boy from a different caste..

A 19 year old girl and her boyfriend were bludgeoned with hammer and elecrocuted to death by her family in Delhi...

A young boy was killed for marrying a girl who belonged to the same gotra,his battered body was actually displayed in the village...

A 15 year old schoolboy and his girlfriend were killed in Greater Noida, by their own family members after they refused to end their affair...

Yes, honour-killing cases are rampant in most of the states of India, not only in India but also in other countries for that matter..

For the sake of the so-called 'izzat' in the society and to save the honour of the family,caste or religion, young men and women have been murdered by their own relatives and most shockingly, by their own parents in many of the cases..

I,being an agnostic,being completely against the caste system, find it incomprehensibly difficult to describe how shocked I was when I read those n number of cases.. How can a father kill his own daughter just for his family's reputation in the society? For me, the word called 'religion' does not exist,but it is considered to be above the life of an innocent human being for some people..A research paper by a Chandigarh based lawyer states that every year,over a 1000 people are killed in India in the name of honour.. And, on top of that,for every case that gets recorded, several others go unreported..

THE ROOT CAUSE

In villages, the main factors responsible are probably ignorance, superstitions and stereotyped views,their mentality and above all the Khap.. 

But if you think the main cause of honour killings is lack of education or the dictatorship of the khap, may be wrong..As a matter of fact, there have been many cases in areas like Delhi where the murderers were educated people from well-to-do families and the victims were, of course, their own children and family members..

If you think that caste-ism and orthodox attitude is responsible, you maybe wrong again..

Now, talking about the ultimate reason, well, obviously, a normal human being would never go to the extent of committing a crime as heinous as brutally killing someone close to him.. One of the most interesting aspect of the subject called psychology- crime and psychology- is probably the answer to this..

Every criminal commits the crime either for revenge or hatred or greed or insecurity..A thief or a robber kills for the greed of money, a rapist kills for lust, for sex.. All first degree murders are premeditated, i.e. they are planned, either for revenge or simply for hatred..

Now, when this feeling (of greed or revenge or hatred or insecurity or lust) overpowers an individual, it overtakes his conscience and he does not realize that its morally,socially, legally wrong and inhumane.. 

In case of honour killings, the main reason is perhaps insecurity- the fear of losing the so-called respect, reputation in the society.. the fear of not being able to follow the parampara (tradition).. its when this insecurity or this lust for honour and reputation overpowers him, he goes to the extent of taking away the life of his own son or daughter...

WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE

No matter what the reason is, such an act can never be justified.. It is something that needs to be stopped at any cost, one of the worst social evils existing in India..

Union Minister for Law and Justice, M Veerappa Moily had recently said that they would be coming up with a stricter provision in the law to stop honour killings.. But are amendments in laws enough? Will stricter laws be able to stop, or for that matter, control the rising rate of the number of honour killings?

All the people living in cities and metropolitans are bound to be aware of the fact that murder or manslaughter is a crime, it is against the law and they are bound to be punished for the same..In spite of this, there have been many cases in places like Delhi, Noida etc. 

Moreover, in certain villages, the gram-panchayat had announced to hang boys and girls until death for marrying a person from the same gotra.. In rural areas of Haryana and a few other states, people actually believe that only whores choose their own partners.. Although killing women for dowry, killing innocent people in the name of tradition, in the name of honour, is not considered to be a crime in the same region, but a death sentence is announced for marrying a person from a different caste or from the same gotra..

Now the question arises, even if amendments are made in the laws, even if stricter laws are made, would this put an end to this brutal killing?
Well, as long as these stone-hearted fanatics have their orthodox views on, as long as they feel that young girls are like a 'burden' to the family, as long as izzat and parampara would remain more important than the lives of their daughters and sons, no laws, no amendments would be able to stop this.. And where would the common people go, when even policemen in these areas support the rules by Khap panchayats? Aren't laws baseless and purposeless in a country where the law makers just comment and promise a stricter action and policemen support the same law breakers in the name of tradition and honour? 

First of all, a strict action must be taken against all those panchayats  who actually announce the murders of young men and women.. There must be a police force against the same, with a duty to arrest the people responsible for killing.. Even a five year old kid must be knowing that these murders are illegal according to the law, then why don't the Khap panchayats come to an end?  How the hell do they have the right to announce death sentence to a couple just for marrying in the same gotra? 

In villages, people actually grow up hearing such cases.. They actually believe that this is right.. Call it lack of education, call it lack of awareness, call it ignorance, call it the dictatorship of the khap for power.. But, something needs to be done about it, merely educating the people is not a solution.. Moreover, no matter what you do, you cannot convince the elders of these villages..They must be behind the bars, instead of having the authority to announce death sentences for the youth of the nation.. 

Secondly, the Indian society is certainly responsible for this fanaticism, this psychology.. Indians, in general, give a hell lot of importance to religions, caste and above all their honour and reputation..As always, I would like to state the way I feel that the existence of religions, and the inter-religion, inter-caste hatred is responsible for most of the social evils..

Its high time that people should realize that castes and religions should not be taken as ways to discriminate, that adult boys and girls have the right to marry the person of their choice, irrespective of the community or religion, that society, tradition, reputation, honour cannot be above the lives of innocent girls and boys..

At the end, nothing at all can be above humanity or human rights..

All I could do was to write this blog as a concerned citizen.. Its a request to all the readers.. the next time you read a news pertaining to honour killing, dont just say, "Bahut bura hua, kitni sharmnaak baat hai".. You need to take an action, you need to create awareness, you need to rise above things like castes, religions, communities etc. You need to do something in this direction, for the society, for the country you are a part of, for the sake of the lives of those fellow Indians who are being killed in the name of honour..

This is all I had to say, all kinda comments are welcome..

Sonia Bhatia

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HUM TUM

Shonali n Sid were two great friends...She was a Delhi girl n Sid was a student at IIT Kanpur..They were in touch and used to talk frequently even though they were not in the same city.Finally they were about to see each other after a long time..Shonali was waiting for Sid at the Rajiv Chowk Metro Station,excited to meet him..

She just saw him coming out of the Yellow Line...

Hey Sid!!!

Hey! Hi Sho!!

fed up of that crowd at the platform, they sat on a bench n started talking..

God! You wont ever stop calling me Sho,you know I hate that name...

Alright,Shonali Ji.. by the way, you have lost weight...lookin good

Naah,no way,I think I've gained quite a lot of weight...I'm like..such a fatso..

So do you expect me to say,"Sho,you look awesome,incredibly slim" and repeat that sentence n number of times...Whats wrong with you girls..Why dont you just accept that you have lost weight...Why do you have to argue unnecessarily..

Ok,Ok...Ya,you have seen me after so many months...so..maybe. ermm..black colour suits you alot..You used to look like a complete nerd,you look much better now..

Thanks..

So...ermmm

So..so what...

Both of them were actually wondering how its so very easy to talk for hours n hours through gtalk,sms n phone calls and why does it become difficult to keep a conversation alive when you are talking face to face..

Shona, m starving yaar..lets go to CCD!

Ya..You know what, Shona sounds much better than Sho..

Hmmm, I know that Sho!

Sid!!! you are... you are just...like.....aarrgghh

This time,Sid just smiled...They were there at Cafe Coffee Day now...'

Sho, I jus forgot,you hate coffee, dont you?

Ya, i hate coffee.. I'll have something else..When are your friends coming..You guys are going to watch a movie, right?

Yup.. Raajneeti at PVR Plaza... What bout your friends..Lemme guess..You must be going to Janpath or Kamla Nagar or some kinda mall..I cant understand why girls love shopping..

Shut up Sid, shopping is fun..n ya, m waiting to watch Raajneeti too.. As always,Ranbir Kapoor is looking awesome..he looks cute in every other movie,this time he is looking really smart too.. n for a change, even Katrina is looking fine...

What do you mean... she always looks beautiful... everytime..

For about 15 minutes, they kept on talking about Raajneeti, Katrina Kaif, latest music,latest movies n endless stuff...then all of a sudden, Shonali said..

Sid,whats up with that girl in your college..Did you talk to her again?

Shonali, what the hell made you think of her...You keep saying that I go out of the topic while talking,that all guys go out of the topic.. tell me, when we were talking about movies n all, why the hell did you start talking about her all of a...

Look, I'm really really really sorry Sid, I just asked coz.. I mean..

Its ok Sho, I can understand..you were concerned about me..I told you, I can see things cant be the way I want them to be n m really disturbed about it..She takes me for granted, as if I dont exist..

Sid, its better if you move on.. really..I mean, remember I had gone through a similar phase once..about 10 months ago..You had told me to accept n move on ..thanks for the way you had supported me then n sorry for asking this stupid question now..

No need to thank me Sho..I always tell you bout everything because no one else understands me the way you do..I can share every damn thing related to my life with you..You are a true friend,Shona..Its great to talk to you..I have never seen a girl like you..

Siddharth Sharma..Listen.. To hell with her now.. really, you are a perfect guy..She was unlucky she lost a great guy like you...n m not saying so coz you are a close friend, m saying so because I know this..

Finally, there exists a girl who thinks I am perfect.. thank you Sho..

Shut up Sid...(This time, she blushed n smiled as if she didn't actually mean what she said..as if she wanted Sid to speak even more n tease her even more...)

N then,Sid started talking bout something else...

How is your younger brother doing.. Is he still making those sketches n playing cards of those Japanese cartoons..Naruto n all...

He is as irritating as ever..Keeps disturbing me all the time...n he has finally sold those cards to his friend for a thousand bucks..

Cool...

Stop talking bout that idiot now..

Yaar, I just received a message from a friend, I guess we'll have to leave now..

Ya, even my friends must be waiting for me...We should leave now...

While they were coming out of the Cafe Coffee Day..Shonali started talking again..

Sid,it was nice to see you after a long time...

Yeah, it was good to see you Shona!

I just noticed something bout you..You call me Shona whenever you are emotional..

Ermm.. really..You think I am an emotional guy?

Of course..n dont you dare challenge my observation..

So they were standing near the F-Block of the Rajiv Chowk Metro Station.. Shonali just said "Goodbye, Sid".. ...... n then, Sid just hugged her, n noticed the way most of the people at the Dwarka platform of the Rajiv Chowk Metro Station were staring at them, God knows why..

So Shonali enjoyed every bit of the day, meeting Sid, hanging out with her friends..Before going to sleep, she recalled everything..She started thinking about that conversation.. She could recall it word-to-word.. She enjoyed thinking about the way Sid had said, "I have never seen a girl like you.." n then, she herself did not realize when she started imagining about something else .."Why were all those people staring at us at the Metro Station.. All friends hug each other, whats the big deal.. Anyways, is Sid really a perfect guy, well, he is a perfect friend for sure.. but then, he is such an idiot, he's absolutely hopeless, pathetically stupid..Why am I thinking about it.. Is it like, I have a crush on him or something..Naah, no way, for God's sake.. Me n Sid together.. as a couple.. Not possible..... Oh crap, what the hell am I thinking..Well, Sid and I, best buddies, everything is just so beautiful..He understands me well and then, I am what I am when I am with him..Had he been my boyfriend,I guess, probably things would not have been as beautiful as they are..So, I am lucky enough to have a friend like Sid..We'll always be friends..no..good friends..in fact..best friends..always and forever..God knows why I had started thinking like a silly bimbo..

Shonali, almost laughing at herself now, was still not able to sleep, laughing at all her friends who used to think that Sid and Shonali are Made For Each Other types..thinking that its just so great to have a friend who will always be there for you..thinking bout so many things.. and realizing that friendship is the loveliest relationship you can think of..and feeling that life is just so sexy n she could not stop smiling.....

Next Blog Soon

Sonia Bhatia

P.S.

This story has got nothing to do with the blog post, Dil To Bachcha Hai Ji..Goes without saying, this was a work of pure fiction.. And all kinda comments are welcome..

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