Saath Rupaye !

This is not fiction. All characters of this story are real. In fact, I should not call it a story. This is a real experience shared by an acquaintance, who had been traveling across the country for a business stint. Trust me, the conversation is not at all exaggerated. Do read.


"Sahab aapki umar kitni hai?"
"Baais saal"
"Kya baat hai sahab..itni jaldi bade aadmi ban gaye aap?"
"Koi aadmi bada ya chhota nahi hota"
"ye raaste se choodiyaan kiske liye khareede the saahab?"
"Apni chhoti behen ke liye.."
"Koi premika nahi hai aapki? kya kehte hain aap log angreji mei, 'girlfriend', 'girlfriend' nahi hai koi?"
"Nahi, koi nahi hai"
"Kya baat kar rahe ho Saahab, dikhne mei hero lagte ho, achchha khaasa kamaate ho, aap toh jise chaho haasil kar lo"
"Haasil nahi karna chahta..saath dena chahta hoon uska..khush rakhna chahta hoon use"
"Aashiq mijaaj maaloom hote ho saahab.."
"Aisa hi samajh lo..Achchha highway pe koi dhaba aaye toh gaadi rokna..bahut bhookh lagi hai.."
"Dhaba yahan se kareeb 7-8 kilometer pe hai..Peete ho sahab?"
"Nahi..main nahi peeta"
"Aur aapke liye aur koi intezaam karna hai ?"   
"Kaisa intezaam?"
"Yahin dhaabe ke paas..laal batti hai sahab..ek ghanta thokne ke saath rupaye..aap toh ameer aadmi ho, paanch sau bhi kharch doge toh kya jayega"
"Kya badtameezi hai ye..khabardaar jo aainda aisi baat ki mujhse toh..Agar gaadi aise kahin roki bhi toh tum.."
"Arre aap toh bura maan gaye saahab.."
"Biwi nahi hai tumhari?"
"Uske aage toh laal batti wali feeki pad jaaye..par kya karein sahab, hum thehre driver, mahine mei ek baar milte hain apni aurat se..Ab aadmi ki bhi apni zarurat hoti hai saahab"
"Tumne kaha tum laal batti apni zarurat poori karne jaate ho..kabhi socha hai uski bhi koi zarurat hogi..wo agar soche kahin apni zarurat ko pura karne ki..kya karoge tum?Achchha itne samay baad milte ho..Kabhi koi tohfa le ke jaate ho uske liye?"
"Tohfa kya saahab..Uski zarurat hum puri kar hi dete hain, mard se badh ke kya tohfa hai gharwali ke liye"
"Ek kaam karo..ye choodiyaan rakh lo,,maine apni behen ke liye khareedi thi..tum apni biwi ko de dena..Usko achchha lagega."
"Rehne do saahab..Iski kya zarurat hai"
"Zarurat hai..kyunki tum uski zaruraton ke bare mei jaante nahi..."


Saath rupaye ! Only sixty fucking rupees ! And you can buy a woman's body for an hour..

We live in a country where a video by an actress talking of her choices goes viral in the name of feminism, where a TV actress having sex with a rich businessman becomes a headline...but neither the media, nor these videos for empowerment or the men and women busy talking about these over-rated subjects care about women who do not have choices, who are actually forced into prostitution, who are not even treated as individuals by their husbands, leave alone equals. "My choice" is a ridiculous, meaningless phrase for some women in this country. If at all we could do something for these women, I wish I could think of something.. I thought and thought, I had no answers!

Sonia 

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She Needs EMPATHY, not EMPOWERMENT

This women's day, I simply could not stop myself from writing a post. No, this is not about women's rights, this is not about empowerment and this is not about sexual harassment, female infanticide, dowry and other social evils..

This post is against ridiculous ways of celebrating International Women's Day. This post is against all those who think women need special job offers, special rights or empowerment (I swear this word reminds me of Rahul Gandhi more than anything or anyone else). What girls and women really need is liberty and empathy and what we are giving them is the exact opposite. 

An Appeal to all Companies

When I had my first interview, guys around me said, "Getting core mechanical jobs is so easy for girls, all auto sector companies "prefer" girls in order to improve the sex ratio". When I had my second job interview, which was for a PSU, guys around me said, "Getting into a PSU is a cakewalk for girls. They would take them in any case, it is a government organization, they have to increase the number of women employees.”

Do you think I blame guys for such an attitude? I am not sure if I should blame them, but I do blame all those companies that are coming up with a "Special" Recruitment Drive for Women.

For God's sake, stop! Please stop these recruitment drives in the name of HR initiatives and CSR. Jobs for women blessed with affluent and well educated parents do not fall under Corporate Social Responsibility and it does not bridge the so-called gap in any manner.

Women are equally intelligent, deserving and competitive. A special recruitment drive for them is a reservation in a way and reservations of any sort have nothing to do with liberty. What you are doing is not empowering women, it is simply advocating and exemplifying what young guys feel about recruitment in Indian companies.

If you really want to do something for women and their liberty, invest in educating young girls.

If you really want to do something, tell workers from shop floors, Chai walas and sweepers in their company that their wives deserve to be respected, teach them not to get drunk and beat their wives, teach them that domestic violence is a criminal offence.

An Appeal to all Parents

You love your daughters and you want them to grow up as educated, independent women. The word independence does not mean being financially independent only. It is about aspirations, thoughts and desires.

Stop preparing her to get married, stop preparing her to be perfect. She is a human being and would always remain imperfect. Stop telling her things that you never mention to your sons. Why is it OK for her brother to abuse while she can’t? Why is it OK for her male cousins to get drunk at a family function while she can’t? Why is it OK for guys of her age to watch porn, while she can't even think of doing that?

Why do you expect your daughters to be sophisticated, pretty, naive, innocent and teetotalers? Why does society have different rules for girls and guys? For every MMS scandal, for every rape case, for every case of pre-marital sex and teenage pregnancy, why do we say, “He was a guy, it is OK for a guy to do so, after all, men will be men, but she was a girl, she should have been careful. Why didn’t her parents teach her anything?”

I find this absolutely ridiculous. Why is it “normal” for a man to have sex or have the desire to have sex while it is “immoral” and “a sin” for girls?

Please do not let your ethics and moral values be gender based. The definition of right and wrong, moral and immoral must be the same for both girls and boys. That’s it.

An Appeal to the great Indian Education System

They say that Indian schools must introduce sex education for teenagers. Yeah, right, we live in a society where one can openly talk of Cancer and not of AIDS and we talk of sex education!

Teenagers do not need a biology class that includes facts about our hormones and reproductive system. What boys actually need is an open session to teach them that there is more to a woman than her boobs and legs, to counsel them about relationships, to guide them so that they grow up to be responsible men who respect women, who treat them as equals, who have the ability to empathize with them.

A message to all women

You do not need a day to remind you that you are special. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Respect your goals and ambitions, value your independence. You were not born to make sacrifices, you were not born to follow what society says, you were born to live your life on your own terms! Cheers!!

Sonia

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If Every Child is Legitimate Now, I Support Madras HC

Madras High Court order on pre marital sex and marriage has sparked a controversy which is going viral on net. I have lost the count of the different versions, opinions, judgements, views and above all interpretations that I have read about the same.

Let me just begin with sharing the links for the news :

Couples who have premarital sex to be considered 'married' : says HC

However, I still believe that the title by The Hindu for the link above was somewhat misleading.
Therefore, I would also like to share TOI's article. Its an interesting read.

The very statement "If a couple in the right legal age indulge in sexual gratification, it will be considered a valid marriage and they could be termed as husband and wife." has raised eyebrows, made headlines, been the hot topic for debates all over the country.

While people have been criticizing and ridiculing the verdict, while there have been funny facebook posts "trolling" the pre marital sex=marriage part (without looking at the exact interpretation), while people are questioning the fact that there can't be documentary proofs for sex between a man and a woman, while some say this would actually mean polygamy for those who casually sleep with more than one woman, I feel that considering the present case, there is one aspect that simply can't be ignored, and that is, according to Justice Karnan,

" the petitioner’s rank has been elevated as the `wife’ of the respondent and likewise, the respondent’s rank has been elevated as the `husband’ of the petitioner. Therefore, the children born to them are legitimate children"

And, this statement, precisely, is the reason why I am writing this blog.

No Child Should Be Called "Illegitimate". Period.

For a moment, forget the case, forget the verdict, forget the controversy and the endless articles and blogs about the same. Consider a case where a man and a woman have sex, but they are not married to each other, the woman gets pregnant and eventually gives birth to a child. Now, since they are not a married couple, the child born to them would be an "illegitimate child" for s/he would be born out of wedlock, where the marriage is invalid or void in the eyes of the law. More importantly, such children would be termed as "naajaayaz aulaad" in the eyes of the Indian society forever!

Was it the fault of the child that s/he was born as a result of pre marital sex and not sex after marriage? Why should the child be devoid of proper education, nutrition, bringing up and care? Why should the child carry the psychological and emotional burden of being called 'naajayaz' throughout his/her life?

If Justice Karnan's verdict implies that such children deserve a life beyond the tag illegitimate' ,deserve financial support,education,love and affection ,deserve a life like that of so-called legitimate kids whose parents had had sex only after getting married ,I support such an interpretation of the case!

Yes,I understand that two individuals cannot get married just because of a sexual intercourse and a one night stand. I admit that people,particularly women ,might use such laws for blackmailing others, this may lead to forced marriages too. I do believe that if a woman or a man wishes to be a single mother or a single father to the child, s/he can't be forced. But then, the child will have to suffer because of the word 'illegitimate' as long as he is alive, and may be his own children will also have to suffer for the same.

Thus, in spite of everything, this verdict does hold good for cases where pre marital sex leads to pregnancy and/or child birth. Many girls in India commit suicide in case if they get pregnant and they can't abort the child. Many men in India still use and throw women for lust in the name of love and commitment. Almost all kids born out of sex without marriage go through the mental torture of "being illegitimate"

And the worst part is that irrespective of laws and legal terms, indian society would continue to be equally rigid. Gays and lesbians are still not accepted in our society even after Section 377. Do you think we will ever accept pre marital sex and unmarried pregnant women? Even if a law is introduced to support such kids in all similar cases , society would continue to call them "Naajayaz Aulaad", unmarried pregnant girls would continue to go for illegal abortions and suicide attempts!

The irony is that Indians do not condemn something as brutally illegal as rape as much as they condemn pre marital sex which involves mutual consent. And just like they have no sympathy for rape victims, they have absolutely no acceptance for the "illegitimate children". Perhaps people in India have decided that they would keep their notions, their so-called values and culture above all logics, all ethics, all sympathy and humanity.

Justice Karnan and his verdict has been like a proof to the fact that we, the people of India, love to look at only one side of the coin, and that side is the side which deserves criticism, blames and sarcasm.
If at all we could think of accepting children born after sex without marriage, if at all we could let unmarried pregnant women live their own lives, such a verdict would not have been needed in the first place.

Every newspaper, every blog writer, every other person may have come up with his/her interpretations and views. I have just one thing to say.

I reiterate my words.. "No Child Should Be Called Illegitimate. Period"

Sonia Bhatia

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Marriage MATERIAL or a LIVEly Daughter??

Ever since I have started working in a government organization, people around me keep saying, "your prospects of getting married to a nice guy are brighter and better now " I always feel like laughing at this illogical statement and I fail to understand why a job or its type is linked to marriage in India, more importantly, why is every fucking thing treated as an eligibility criteria for being an ideal marriage material for Indian girls? Right from her looks to her education, right from her health to her job, everything perhaps has one primary objective- to make her eligible for getting married, to make her perfect in every sense, not with an intention to teach her how to be a good citizen/woman/daughter/wife/mother, but with a fear in their minds, a fear that one day she has to get married and her future in laws expect her to be perfect!!
Confused?? Read the following points one by one, please note that every word is TRUE and REAL

• She is a school kid, like all kids of her age ,she loves playing and watching TV much more than cooking and other household chores, but her mother always tells her that if she does not learn how to cook ,she will be in deep trouble after she gets married, in fact ,this would act as a hindrance in their path to find a suitable match for her.. Why do we have to teach our kids in such a fashion that inculcates fear in them, that makes them feel scared of marriage and in laws at the age when they don't even know what marriage is? Why can't we simply tell them that they ought to learn things for their own good ?
• She is a bright student. She has always been a hard working and sincere girl. However, one fine day, when she could not score well in an exam, her mother warned her about competition for jobs , telling her that everyone 'asks' and 'demands' for working women these days..People say that nowadays parents consider education of their daughters as important as education for their sons, the exact reason lies in the previous statement! Can't she have her own ambitions? Shouldn't we ask her to work hard and be independent? Perhaps her own ambitions don't exist for all those people who think she should work only to meet the 'demands' of people looking for a working wife for their sons!
• She was a lively,bubbly college kid, she never cared about what others thought of her, her friends used to call her 'fatty' for she was slightly overweight, it never affected her much! One fine day , her mother told her, " Nobody would marry you if you continue to gain weight like this" and that was the first time when she was affected by a comment! Why can't we ask our daughters to take care of their own health and fitness in the first place? Isn't her well being important otherwise? Why is her being perfectly eligible for marriage more important than her being perfectly fit and fine? Aren't we responsible for making them feel confident ?
• She was a talented, creative fashion designer working for a boutique ,she wanted to have her own startup, but her family insisted that she should think of getting married now for she was 25 already! Why is society's pressure valued more than a girl's dreams and plans? Doesn't she have a right to be ambitious? Who makes these ridiculous rules? 

A mother can never even think of doing something that makes her daughter sad, yet,without realizing the emotional and psychological impact of all these things on her daughter, she continues to do so..why? The answer is simple. Indian parents are the victims of Indian society, they can't stand their daughters being not suitable in the eyes of the society! Sadly, even TV serials and movies promote the same culture, the same ideologies that preach that a girl's life is all about one major life event- marriage and her parents ought to prepare her for that right from the day she is born.

Marriage, undoubtedly , is like the biggest turning point in a person's life! But why do we expect a person to be perfect when we think of getting married? I find it incomprehensibly difficult to believe that people totally forget things like compatibility and mutual understanding! The irony is that they fail to realize that they are looking for a daughter-in-law, who is a human being, with her own flaws, her own qualities, her own beliefs, they are not going to buy a product with desirable configurations and specifications!

The message is simple and is dedicated to all Indian parents with an intention to make them understand something very important. She has her own life, her own identity! She doesn't deserve to be treated like a commodity in a market of cut throat competition! She deserves to be respected!
Love her, care for her , make her feel confident , make her feel beautiful, ask her to respect herself, teach her to love herself the way she is! Ask her to explore the whole world, teach her to be bold, be optimistic! Let her be free, let her discover herself, let her dream, let her aspire, let her strive for success, let her smile, let her be !

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Beauty is Confidence.. Confidence is Beauty

Part-I 

Ananya and Kinshuk were sitting on the ground with folded legs, pulling up the grass, looking at the sky, day dreaming, looking at each other, smiling.. Sometimes, silence mesmerizes you, for memories captivate your thoughts..

And, Kinshuk said..

"Anu, you know, that was the place where I saw you for the first time, the coffee shop.."

"Yeah, and I also remember the conversation we had, word-by-word.. It was hilarious.. The first thing that I had noticed about you was your sense of humor"

"I know! I know! All girls are mad about my sense of humor! Nothing new!"

"Shut up!"

"Hey Anu! I can have a bet that you've no clue about the first thing that I had noticed about you! "

"Oh..Really! What was it? Lemme guess! Must be my simplicity!"

"Well, I admire your simplicity..I feel that its something that defines you..But that's not the right answer to my question.."

"What was it Kinshi? Tell me now! At least give me a hint!"

"Ohk..It is something that everyone must have noticed about you, just like your simplicity!"

"You were right! I'm not getting what you're talking about! What was it? I wanna know..I'm curious now"

" When I saw you for the first time, I noticed that there was something amazing about your face, and that was your confidence..the confidence that I see whenever I look into your eyes, that makes you look so beautiful, that makes everything perfect for you, for me, for us..that drives me crazy about this crazy girl called Ananya Verma! "

"You render me speechless, Kinshuk Sarkar.. I dunno what to say!"

And the two pairs of eyes met again.. The silence was much more enthralling now..

Ananya could not stop thinking about those words..People around her always admired her confidence..She was not only invincibly sanguine, but also a girl who preached about self-love and self-belief, a girl who was an inspiration for those who do not love themselves..But then, she kept asking herself, "Is it Kinshi's love for me that makes him feel so or is it actually my confidence that makes me look beautiful? What exactly makes a girl, a woman, beautiful?"

*********

Part-II

With the last line of the fictitious conversation, commences the real blog.. What exactly makes a girl, a woman beautiful?

If you talk of a body with perfect curves, a flawless figure, the word is not beautiful, the word is hot or sexy.. If you talk of a sweet smile, chubby cheeks, the word is not beautiful, the word is bubbly or cute..
If you talk of great dressing sense with perfect accessories, the word is smart or stylish..
If you talk of make up and hair styling, the word is pretty..
However, all these women might be beautiful, but these aren't answers to the question, what exactly makes a girl, a woman beautiful? 

When a girl child asks endless cute questions from her father, its her innocence that makes her beautiful..

When a girl says to her best friend, "Don't worry, I'll take care of everything..Smile now!".. its her care that makes her beautiful..

When a girl falls in love, its the ecstasy and magic of love that makes her beautiful..

When a woman gives birth to a baby and takes him in her hands for the first time, it makes her feel that her child completes her, and perhaps, this feeling makes her beautiful..

When a woman makes sacrifices and compromises for her family, and even then, she smiles, its her selflessness that makes her beautiful..

Its her courage, her benevolence, her tolerance, her strength that makes her beautiful..

If you ask me to define beauty.. I really cannot do that, for beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.. but I do know that, in some way or the other, every girl is beautiful, every woman is adorable..

Part- III 

This blog is not about physical appearance vs inner beauty..The reason why I'm writing this post is that some women have actually lost their confidence, the eternal beauty, for they desperately wish to be "physically appealing"..

Yes, I feel pity for those girls who suffer from an inferiority complex, who envy the ones who look better than them.. At the same time, I feel that the ones who live with vanity and narcissism are merely arrogant fools, for physical appeal is always short-lived, unlike self-confidence.. No matter how great you look, if you feel disappointed when you receive less facebook comments and likes on your pictures, if your confidence level is dependent on the number of compliments you receive, if you like to dress up like what others expect, rather than the way you like to see yourself, I pity you ! Above all, I pity girls who have lost their confidence after a guy dumped them for a so-called hot chick, for beauty is not about what he thinks or he likes, its about what you feel about yourself.. 

You may go to a parlor for make up, you may go to a gym for weight loss, you may feel great when you receive compliments, you may try endless beauty products and beauty treatments, you may have a complete makeover, but nothing at all can inculcate the confidence in you, the way you yourself can.. And confidence is something that adds on to your beauty like nothing else does..

Confidence is the first postulate of what we call style..You cannot be a stylish person if you follow what others do, a style statement is something that uniquely identifies you!

With your head held up high, with perfect optimism and self-belief in your mind and heart, being confident about who you are, what you are and what you can do, is the secret to eternal beauty..Yes, there is no beauty that is attractive without confidence..

When you feel confident, you are not only more beautiful, but also you radiate the beauty, you make the whole world around you beautiful.. You mesmerize, you influence, you shine, you rule!

So, always smile and make the whole world smile with you!
Cheers !!!

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DATE A GUY WHO OBSERVES !!

[ This is my version of the "Date a Guy Who.. " series ! Famous blog posts from the series include "Date a Guy who Writes", "Date a Guy Who Reads" and "Date a Guy Who Loves Music"...]

Unlike reading and writing, observing is not a hobby..It is an observer's natural ability, a part and parcel of his basic instincts..Observation, in philosophical terms, is not at all similar to introspection or retrospection.. It is a timeless and dynamic process of continuous learning, that always helps one to live in the present..A real observer beholds things that others cannot even notice, perceives things that others cannot even imagine..And, therefore, observers among both men and women are rare.. Goes without saying, you're lucky if you find one..So, lets start with the blog, based on an observer's random observations! 

DATE A GUY WHO OBSERVES !

Date a guy who not only tells you how beautiful you are, but tells you what exactly what makes you beautiful.. Yes, he would notice something new about you everyday..He would tell you about things that distinguish you from all other girls around you, things about you that you might have never noticed yourself !

He would love you for who you are and not for how you look! Right from your simplicity to your confidence, right from your intelligence to your madness, he would admire everything about you..Right from your weird traits to your idiotic mood swings, he would not only observe it all, but also understand you, understand things about you that no one else does..

He observes, he listens, he learns, he explores, he visualizes, he wants to know more ! This makes him a sensible person and trust me when I say this, you might have met a lot of intelligent guys, but sensible guys are rare ! He would notice the pain in your eyes when the whole world believes that your fake smile means that you're happy..Share your problems with him, speak your heart out, he would listen with an incredible patience, and always come up with a solution..

Never lie to him, because you simply cannot afford to do that ! But the best way to irritate him is to pretend that you're hiding something.. No matter how sensible or how intelligent he is, curiosity is his biggest weakness! Tell him that someone else knows you better than what he does, tell him that there is a secret that you cannot share with him, and he would go crazy out of curiosity, out of envy..Yes, he envies all those guys (and even girls) who know things about you that he does not, who talk to you more than what he does..Try to play pranks with him and he would pretend that he knows nothing, while he knows everything.. Yes, observers actually pretend their ignorance just to see that smile on your face, and this is, perhaps, the cutest thing about them!

Date a guy who observes because he flirts in a really unique style! He won't ever use the cliched filmy dialogues and fake promises to impress you..But if you look at yourself through his eyes, you would be flattered, for whatever he says, he says out of his own observations, and therefore, he means it!

He won't write typical romantic poems on your birthday, but he would write long notes that exclusively talk about you and every small thing about you that he finds funny, that he finds cute, that he finds awesome! His sense of humor is also an outcome of his brilliant observation skills and wits, he would make you laugh, he would come up with cute nicknames almost daily..

He does not believe in fairy tale romance, but he happens to be a romantic guy..His style of romance is, however, really different..Get naughty with him and he would get naughtier, act like a kid and he would pamper you.. Irrespective of your mood, he would always get to know what you want, for observation is timeless, and he always has the urge to know you, to know what you feel and what you desire..

He loves surprises.. He likes intelligent girls.. He loves intellectual conversations..His behavior might seem to be idiosyncratic at times, but you would start enjoying his idiotic side as well.. Listen to him, talk about anything and everything under the sun, share your views about things that interest him.. He would easily forgive you even if you are at your worst, but you should never doubt him! He expects you to have faith in him and nothing would hurt him more than seeing doubt in your eyes.. There is no place for over-possessiveness, suspicions and insecurities in your life for you are dating an observer, for you are blessed to have him and he deserves to be trusted !

Date a guy who observes because you deserve it ! You deserve someone who knows you and understands you well..You deserve someone who loves you the way you are..You deserve someone who means what he says.. You deserve a guy who knows the worst of the things about you, but genuinely admires you, and above all, date a guy who observes because, "Love is, when someone gradually takes you to who you are, rather than what he wants you to be"

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When Will You STOP BLAMING the VICTIM?!

[ This post is a medium to vehemently protest against something that happens to be totally outrageous and unfair.. You may call me a feminist and I don't care if you use adjectives like blatant, blunt or offensive to describe this blog, for even if some people realize what I wish to convey, I will be really satisfied as a writer, and more importantly, as a girl..]

A tenth standard student gang-raped in Noida

While there was a wave of rage throughout NCR, while UP Women's Panel issued notice against Noida police for revealing the victim's identity, the case also became a subject of gossip and meaningless criticism, and, surprisingly, the criticism was not against the rapists, it was against the victim !
Yes, I myself heard people around me say, "This was bound to happen..Such girls deserve this" ..I find it incomprehensibly difficult to describe my reaction to these absurd statements.. She deserved it ?? She deserved it just because she went out for a birthday party with five guys at night, and she was supposedly drunk when they raped her? How the hell could people forget that she had been brutally assaulted, that she has lost her dignity, her freedom to live peacefully, her happiness, forever !!

We live in a society where people love to blame the victim !! No one noticed that she was raped because someone raped her, but everyone did notice that she went out with men at night and she was drunk !

This is what cops in India have to say about rape cases.. Atrocious, shameful and unbelievable statements (Courtesy : Today's TOI, City Page)
" Ye ladkiyan peeti hain aur aapke saath sex bhi karti hain, jis din koi thok dega, rape ho jayega" (These girls drink and also have sex with you. The day somebody uses force, it becomes rape)

" Aasaan nahi hota uske liye. Beizzati se sabhi darti hain. Asliyat me yahan wahi aati hain jo dhandhe me lipt hoti hain" ( Its never easy for the victim to report rape. Everyone is scared of humiliation. In reality, the ones who complain are only those who have turned rape into a business)

Will these cops come up with the same statements if the same thing happens to their daughters? How can they be so insensitive?

This blog is not only about the Noida rape case's victim, this blog is about every girl who is blamed for being a victim..
She went out for an evening walk, two men on bike came, hit her on her back and ran away even before she realized what had happened.. She went back home, she was scared, she told her mother..She was expecting her mother to abuse those eve teasers, but she scolded her own daughter.. and she was BLAMED for wearing a sleeveless top and a skirt, and asked not to wear the same again..This is, perhaps, the story of every Indian girl.. Yes, she is the VICTIM.. She is a victim of circumstances, she is a victim of the Indian society and Indian culture..she is a victim of the eve teasers..She feels scared for she knows that her city is unsafe for women..She feels violated when someone tries to hit her or touch her..She feels humiliated when men stare at her and her assets..She feels disgusted when her family tells her that its unsafe to go out to market alone at night..

When? When will you stop blaming her? When will you stop blaming all those women who get raped, who are living a lifeless life, full of humiliation, devoid of dignity, devoid of happiness?
Does a woman deserve to be raped just because she drinks? People say that its justified if guys drink, girls should not drink because its morally, ethically wrong.. Why are morals and ethics different for girls and guys?
They say that women wearing skimpy and transparent outfits, flaunt their bodies, and this is bound to attract and provoke any man at all.. But does that give them the right to rape her, to assault her, to spoil her life?
They talk of the so-called Indian culture.. Its against the Indian culture to wear skimpy clothes, its against the Indian culture to drink..If at all the Indian culture says that a woman who drinks is a "sex object" and men have the right to rape her, if at all the Indian culture says that someone who wears a mini skirt is a slut, I feel ashamed of it..I find it ridiculous as well as sick..How the hell can people justify those mother-f***ers and criminals who rape women? Isn't that against culture, against humanity? Perhaps this is the first postulate of the male dominant society in India, one always blames women for anything at all that goes wrong..

For God's sake, stop !! Stop blaming her ! Stop blaming her for wearing sleeveless tops and mini skirts if eve teasers comment on her, for she is the victim ! Stop blaming her when you watch her MMS clips, for someone else had morphed her pictures, and she is the victim.. Stop blaming her for wearing skimpy clothes, because no matter what she wears, she will always be a "sex object" for the rapists..I had watched a prostitute's interview on television, and this is what she had to say about rape cases in India , "Had there been no prostitutes, the number of rape cases would start increasing at an alarming rate"..This says it all..
She is sexually abused, harassed, blackmailed..She feels scared, she does not have the right to be free.. She is suffering and she is the victim.. Yet, men and women, cops and rapists, society and culture, everyone blames her!

This blog comes as an appeal.. If you really understand and agree,protest, protest and fight against anyone who blames her, anyone who blames the victim.. If you feel that what I wish to convey is right, please share this ! And remember, merely sharing of such pictures and blogs won't solve the purpose, we have to bring a change.. A change in the society, a change that happens to be the need of the hour..And the first step towards this change would be,to change your own mentality, the next time you hear about a rape victim, please do not think of reasons to blame her, do remember that, blaming a victim can never be justified !

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GUYS cLASSified !!

[This blog post comes as a random post, for I was bored of posting about life lessons and relationships.. I always wanted to write about my own classification of guys.. Each category is named after an animal.. You may or may not like it, I wrote this blog just for the heck of it.. But then, at the same time, I wish to convey a message too.. Its a humble request to all readers, please read it with an open mind..
Hope you enjoy the classification.. Cheers !! ]

The Puppies : First of all, I apologize to all dog lovers for comparing the ultimately cute puppies to these guys.. Puppies, to begin with, are guys who run after hot chicks..Well,its pretty obvious that all guys like hotter girls..but then, puppies are a special category for they actually chase them wagging their tails..Even after realizing and accepting that the girl is a bitch and does not give a damn to them, they would give her infinite chances in the name of their so-called love, they would continue to make attempts to manipulate her and 'conquer' her mind (even if she happens to be a mindless creature), hoping that they still have a chance..hoping that everything will fall into place one day..They are ready to lose their dignity, in fact, I believe that, they do not possess that dignity in the first place, leave alone losing it..And the irony is that, all puppies think that they're manly and must be proud of 'being a man'..Out of frustration, they start assuming that all girls are bitches, and start avoiding true friends and well wishers...Frankly, I don't give a shit to the puppies anymore, for I know that my words can't inculcate self-respect in them..

The Mice : A mouse is a guy who would make you feel special, would tell you that he needs you and he would promise you that he won't ever let you go.. As a matter of fact, when he says that he needs you, he really means it for he does need you for "emotional support".. And in spite of his endless promises to be there with you forever, you are never special to him, for he makes the same promises to every other girl who is a source of some happiness to him..Yes, mice can't face hardships of their life on their own..They are emotionally weak, mentally unstable, psychos and weirdos who seek support and sympathy from all girls who are way stronger than them..They have a tendency to escape..They go into isolation whenever anything at all goes wrong..They won't pick calls, they won't share their problems, they would simply make you feel perplexed and perturbed..They start assuming that their life is a waste..They do not love themselves..Out of guilt, they often say that they don't deserve you, and trust me when I say this, they're right when they say so..No matter how much you try, you would end up realizing that your efforts to encourage and motivate them were all in vain.. simply because, mice are born "losers" !!

The Monkeys : When you're fed up of being 'used' by the mice, being taken for granted by the puppies,the monkeys come to the rescue...Monkeys are popular for their amazing sense of humor and witty talks..People might consider them to be jobless guys who are born to entertain the whole world with their meaningless PJs, but I respect them for making me laugh, I respect them for their intelligence, I respect them for they value their dignity unlike the puppies..Monkeys are the most sensible and strongest guys around.. They have a practical and optimistic approach towards life..When a monkey says something to praise a girl,he doesn't say so in an attempt to flirt, he actually means it! Monkeys have a great style of talking..They are awesome orators..They can always make you laugh no matter how sad you are.. They keep their promises..To cut the long story short, monkeys are your truest friends..

The Tigers : The most interesting category, and of course, the most attractive category too !! Tigers are the irresistible heartthrobs, apparently perfect and incredibly popular guys.. They include the real hot models, the amazing guitarists, the good looking football players, the sexy dancers, the guys who have a voice to die for, and so on.. Apart from their god gifted talent and looks, they also possess a perfect style of talking and an invincible ability to flirt..The biggest reason why girls find the tigers attractive is not the fact that they're good looking, talented or stylish, its just that, they don't run after girls !
Unfortunately, there are three sub categories of the tigers too..These three subcategories initially make you feel as if you're on top of the world and then walk away from your life later.. Firstly, the over ambitious tigers : All tigers are ambitious, they wish to be famous, they wish to earn loads n loads of money..They are ultimate workaholics.. They always claim that they are busy..They would never devote time to you..They would choose to spend their valuable time taking rest, but they won't attend your calls, won't reply to your messages, simply because, they have a tendency to become self-obsessed psychos out of their over ambitiousness..
Second, the Casanovas : They would charm you, they would flirt with you, they would make you feel as if you're the love of their life, and then, one fine day, they would walk away and another name would be added on to the long list of women in their life !
Third, the Haughty Tigers : No matter how cool or popular a guy is, a girl can never stand someone who makes her feel that she is inferior to him.. Some tigers are arrogant beyond words..So much so, that they become totally unbearable..

The Donkeys : Every girl has a list of guys who are "blocked" from her facebook chat, and every guy from the list of blocked guys, is a donkey by default..Donkeys are the most irritating guys, who ask for your phone number right after they meet you, who ask you to go out with them even when they barely know you..Somehow, they are never able to realize that girls don't wish to talk to them, but they keep on trying to initiate conversations in their typical style..and they have just three questions to ask from you.. One, do you have a boyfriend? Two, Can I have your number? Three, You're rarely online..You know I was missing you, so wassup?

The Tortoises : Remember, slow and steady wins the race ! A tortoise is a guy who can make his way to a girl's heart slowly and steadily.. Tortoises have patience to know and understand who a girl really is.. They are shy and the very same reason makes them cute.. They respect women, they respect their family and unlike the puppies, they value their dignity the most.. Tortoises are ambitious guys who work hard to achieve their goals in their professional lives.. When a tortoise falls in love, he would always be true and loyal to his girl, come what may!
The only problem with these guys is that, they often hesitate to talk for they're shy.. They can't really express themselves, and unfortunately, at times, girls simply don't notice them!

The Chimpanzees : They are popularly known as 'geeks' or 'nerds'... They're those super genius kids who are born to crack the toughest of the entrance exams.. They have a unique lifestyle of their own.. They love coding and making programs.. They love to spend time with their books and mathematics problems.. I like their "I don't care about what people think of me" attitude quite a lot ! In certain cases, sadly, chimpanzees, tend to realize that something is missing in their life.. This happens when they achieve great success in their professional lives and they end up realizing that they're living in emptiness, emptiness in terms of their personal lives.. In some cases, they start running after women around them, they spend money, they are used and finally, they become what puppies are !! Sigh !

The Stray Dogs : The puppies, according to my post aren't really cute and lovable.. Similarly, the stray dogs here aren't pathetically bad too.. Confused? Well, you might have noticed that girls always go weak in the knees when they talk to sophisticated and decent men God knows why ! I feel that a guy who can't abuse does not deserve to be called a man.. I love it when a guy fights for his girl.. I really don't like sophisticated and chivalrous men and I respect aggressive and rebellious guys.. So, the stray dogs are basically guys who wish to stay who they really are, who admire simplicity, who aren't fake, who respect themselves (unlike the puppies and the mice), who are always ignored by bimbos and nincompoops who are mad about fake style and status..

The Jackals: Insecurity, jealousy and possessiveness define the jackals.. They envy the guys who act as monkeys (best friends) for their girlfriends and they envy the guys who act as tigers (crushes) for their best friends among girls even more..They can't stand someone else being closer to girls who are close to them.. They are insecure simply because they don't have faith, they can never trust and because of this attitude, they try n keep restrictions, they make rules, they snatch your freedom from you, they don't let you be.. Any relationship at all can't survive with insecurities and without trust.. Jackals and their over possessiveness can be disastrous at times..

The Crocodiles : 'Liar' is the word ! Right from their family background to the number of girls who proposed to them, right from their academic achievements to their popularity.. Everything that crocodiles talk of is absolutely fake !! A crocodile can fake his emotions.. he can go up to the extent of saying that a girl is dating him, even if she doesn't even know that he actually exists ! Crocodiles are sick and all girls are sensible enough to know that they ought to stay away from them..

The Wolves : Wolves are the criminals who can actually scare you.. Their eyes, their expressions and the way they stare at women around them, and everything about them is hateable.. They feel that every woman is a slut, and the only feeling that they can ever relate to, is that of lust.. I wish I could abuse them all but I don't wish to do that publicly... Lets just put an end to the description here itself !

The classification comes to an end, but before I put an end to the post, I wish to say a few important things..

A message dedicated to all those guys who say that all men are insecure and possessive, all men are emotionally weaker, but we're not to be blamed, its testosterone.. Get a life !! And at least stop blaming hormones for God's sake!

The Return of HUM TUM happens to be the most popular post on this blog.. Guys commented on the same saying that they loved reading it, but people still fail to realize the meaning of friendship.. When a girl admires you as a best friend, she would believe in you more than what you believe in yourself.. She would respect you in spite of knowing the worst of the things about you.. She would take care of your health, she would put in efforts to make you happier, she would ignore your stupidities and hopelessness, she would forgive you with an effortless ease and all she would expect from you is some respect, absolutely nothing beyond that ! If you have a friend like my blog's character Sho, you're blessed with a selfless friend, the day you start disrespecting her, misunderstanding her, the day you break her trust, she might choose to value her dignity and you might end up losing her ! You have absolutely no right to blame her for walking away, for a true friend would never decide to leave you unless she's actually hurt..

All puppies and mice, come up with absurd statements like , "all women are bitches" right after they have a breakup..Even if they're blessed with the truest friends among girls, they are frustrated, they post sad facebook status updates blaming women for their so-called heartbreak and sorrowful personal life..They start devoting more time towards their career, hoping that it would divert their mind, but, they can't be happy in their personal lives unless they stop running after girls who don't value them and start loving and respecting themselves..

I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it. - Marilyn Monroe

I have seen many guys who've hurt me, who've made me cry.. I've been with mice and jackals, I've lived with with puppies and frustrated psychos..Perhaps, every girl faces some losers in her life..But we never say that all men are dogs ! We're always strong enough to face situations, to move on, to remember the beautiful moments n be happy about the same!

People come n go.. Life moves on.. If you feel that you've been disrespected and taken for granted, accept that God doesn't want you to be hurt anymore and move on.. If you feel you had been wrong, stop shedding tears out of guilt, apologize, forget your ego and get your old friend back into your life.. Come what may, never curse your life n luck and never blame all girls around you for the one who ditched you..
The next time you hear someone saying, "all girls are bitches", you can definitely conclude that the guy is a frustrated loser..
Hope you were able to relate to the blog !

Sincerely,
A girl-next-door who is definitely NOT A BITCH !!

P.S.
The title of this blog was suggested by a nice friend, Vikas Singh, sincere thanks to him..
This post would have been really incomplete without my friend Surbhi Makkar's help.. She is a really intelligent girl and an amazing writer.. I hope she starts writing blogs soon ! Widget on