When Will You STOP BLAMING the VICTIM?!

[ This post is a medium to vehemently protest against something that happens to be totally outrageous and unfair.. You may call me a feminist and I don't care if you use adjectives like blatant, blunt or offensive to describe this blog, for even if some people realize what I wish to convey, I will be really satisfied as a writer, and more importantly, as a girl..]

A tenth standard student gang-raped in Noida

While there was a wave of rage throughout NCR, while UP Women's Panel issued notice against Noida police for revealing the victim's identity, the case also became a subject of gossip and meaningless criticism, and, surprisingly, the criticism was not against the rapists, it was against the victim !
Yes, I myself heard people around me say, "This was bound to happen..Such girls deserve this" ..I find it incomprehensibly difficult to describe my reaction to these absurd statements.. She deserved it ?? She deserved it just because she went out for a birthday party with five guys at night, and she was supposedly drunk when they raped her? How the hell could people forget that she had been brutally assaulted, that she has lost her dignity, her freedom to live peacefully, her happiness, forever !!

We live in a society where people love to blame the victim !! No one noticed that she was raped because someone raped her, but everyone did notice that she went out with men at night and she was drunk !

This is what cops in India have to say about rape cases.. Atrocious, shameful and unbelievable statements (Courtesy : Today's TOI, City Page)
" Ye ladkiyan peeti hain aur aapke saath sex bhi karti hain, jis din koi thok dega, rape ho jayega" (These girls drink and also have sex with you. The day somebody uses force, it becomes rape)

" Aasaan nahi hota uske liye. Beizzati se sabhi darti hain. Asliyat me yahan wahi aati hain jo dhandhe me lipt hoti hain" ( Its never easy for the victim to report rape. Everyone is scared of humiliation. In reality, the ones who complain are only those who have turned rape into a business)

Will these cops come up with the same statements if the same thing happens to their daughters? How can they be so insensitive?

This blog is not only about the Noida rape case's victim, this blog is about every girl who is blamed for being a victim..
She went out for an evening walk, two men on bike came, hit her on her back and ran away even before she realized what had happened.. She went back home, she was scared, she told her mother..She was expecting her mother to abuse those eve teasers, but she scolded her own daughter.. and she was BLAMED for wearing a sleeveless top and a skirt, and asked not to wear the same again..This is, perhaps, the story of every Indian girl.. Yes, she is the VICTIM.. She is a victim of circumstances, she is a victim of the Indian society and Indian culture..she is a victim of the eve teasers..She feels scared for she knows that her city is unsafe for women..She feels violated when someone tries to hit her or touch her..She feels humiliated when men stare at her and her assets..She feels disgusted when her family tells her that its unsafe to go out to market alone at night..

When? When will you stop blaming her? When will you stop blaming all those women who get raped, who are living a lifeless life, full of humiliation, devoid of dignity, devoid of happiness?
Does a woman deserve to be raped just because she drinks? People say that its justified if guys drink, girls should not drink because its morally, ethically wrong.. Why are morals and ethics different for girls and guys?
They say that women wearing skimpy and transparent outfits, flaunt their bodies, and this is bound to attract and provoke any man at all.. But does that give them the right to rape her, to assault her, to spoil her life?
They talk of the so-called Indian culture.. Its against the Indian culture to wear skimpy clothes, its against the Indian culture to drink..If at all the Indian culture says that a woman who drinks is a "sex object" and men have the right to rape her, if at all the Indian culture says that someone who wears a mini skirt is a slut, I feel ashamed of it..I find it ridiculous as well as sick..How the hell can people justify those mother-f***ers and criminals who rape women? Isn't that against culture, against humanity? Perhaps this is the first postulate of the male dominant society in India, one always blames women for anything at all that goes wrong..

For God's sake, stop !! Stop blaming her ! Stop blaming her for wearing sleeveless tops and mini skirts if eve teasers comment on her, for she is the victim ! Stop blaming her when you watch her MMS clips, for someone else had morphed her pictures, and she is the victim.. Stop blaming her for wearing skimpy clothes, because no matter what she wears, she will always be a "sex object" for the rapists..I had watched a prostitute's interview on television, and this is what she had to say about rape cases in India , "Had there been no prostitutes, the number of rape cases would start increasing at an alarming rate"..This says it all..
She is sexually abused, harassed, blackmailed..She feels scared, she does not have the right to be free.. She is suffering and she is the victim.. Yet, men and women, cops and rapists, society and culture, everyone blames her!

This blog comes as an appeal.. If you really understand and agree,protest, protest and fight against anyone who blames her, anyone who blames the victim.. If you feel that what I wish to convey is right, please share this ! And remember, merely sharing of such pictures and blogs won't solve the purpose, we have to bring a change.. A change in the society, a change that happens to be the need of the hour..And the first step towards this change would be,to change your own mentality, the next time you hear about a rape victim, please do not think of reasons to blame her, do remember that, blaming a victim can never be justified !

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WHEN A LIFE IS WORTH LESS THAN HONOUR

Honour killing..perhaps the most ironical phrase of the english language and the most shameful, brutal, heinous crime possible...

A girl was burnt alive for being in a relationship with a boy from a different caste..

A 19 year old girl and her boyfriend were bludgeoned with hammer and elecrocuted to death by her family in Delhi...

A young boy was killed for marrying a girl who belonged to the same gotra,his battered body was actually displayed in the village...

A 15 year old schoolboy and his girlfriend were killed in Greater Noida, by their own family members after they refused to end their affair...

Yes, honour-killing cases are rampant in most of the states of India, not only in India but also in other countries for that matter..

For the sake of the so-called 'izzat' in the society and to save the honour of the family,caste or religion, young men and women have been murdered by their own relatives and most shockingly, by their own parents in many of the cases..

I,being an agnostic,being completely against the caste system, find it incomprehensibly difficult to describe how shocked I was when I read those n number of cases.. How can a father kill his own daughter just for his family's reputation in the society? For me, the word called 'religion' does not exist,but it is considered to be above the life of an innocent human being for some people..A research paper by a Chandigarh based lawyer states that every year,over a 1000 people are killed in India in the name of honour.. And, on top of that,for every case that gets recorded, several others go unreported..

THE ROOT CAUSE

In villages, the main factors responsible are probably ignorance, superstitions and stereotyped views,their mentality and above all the Khap.. 

But if you think the main cause of honour killings is lack of education or the dictatorship of the khap, may be wrong..As a matter of fact, there have been many cases in areas like Delhi where the murderers were educated people from well-to-do families and the victims were, of course, their own children and family members..

If you think that caste-ism and orthodox attitude is responsible, you maybe wrong again..

Now, talking about the ultimate reason, well, obviously, a normal human being would never go to the extent of committing a crime as heinous as brutally killing someone close to him.. One of the most interesting aspect of the subject called psychology- crime and psychology- is probably the answer to this..

Every criminal commits the crime either for revenge or hatred or greed or insecurity..A thief or a robber kills for the greed of money, a rapist kills for lust, for sex.. All first degree murders are premeditated, i.e. they are planned, either for revenge or simply for hatred..

Now, when this feeling (of greed or revenge or hatred or insecurity or lust) overpowers an individual, it overtakes his conscience and he does not realize that its morally,socially, legally wrong and inhumane.. 

In case of honour killings, the main reason is perhaps insecurity- the fear of losing the so-called respect, reputation in the society.. the fear of not being able to follow the parampara (tradition).. its when this insecurity or this lust for honour and reputation overpowers him, he goes to the extent of taking away the life of his own son or daughter...

WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE

No matter what the reason is, such an act can never be justified.. It is something that needs to be stopped at any cost, one of the worst social evils existing in India..

Union Minister for Law and Justice, M Veerappa Moily had recently said that they would be coming up with a stricter provision in the law to stop honour killings.. But are amendments in laws enough? Will stricter laws be able to stop, or for that matter, control the rising rate of the number of honour killings?

All the people living in cities and metropolitans are bound to be aware of the fact that murder or manslaughter is a crime, it is against the law and they are bound to be punished for the same..In spite of this, there have been many cases in places like Delhi, Noida etc. 

Moreover, in certain villages, the gram-panchayat had announced to hang boys and girls until death for marrying a person from the same gotra.. In rural areas of Haryana and a few other states, people actually believe that only whores choose their own partners.. Although killing women for dowry, killing innocent people in the name of tradition, in the name of honour, is not considered to be a crime in the same region, but a death sentence is announced for marrying a person from a different caste or from the same gotra..

Now the question arises, even if amendments are made in the laws, even if stricter laws are made, would this put an end to this brutal killing?
Well, as long as these stone-hearted fanatics have their orthodox views on, as long as they feel that young girls are like a 'burden' to the family, as long as izzat and parampara would remain more important than the lives of their daughters and sons, no laws, no amendments would be able to stop this.. And where would the common people go, when even policemen in these areas support the rules by Khap panchayats? Aren't laws baseless and purposeless in a country where the law makers just comment and promise a stricter action and policemen support the same law breakers in the name of tradition and honour? 

First of all, a strict action must be taken against all those panchayats  who actually announce the murders of young men and women.. There must be a police force against the same, with a duty to arrest the people responsible for killing.. Even a five year old kid must be knowing that these murders are illegal according to the law, then why don't the Khap panchayats come to an end?  How the hell do they have the right to announce death sentence to a couple just for marrying in the same gotra? 

In villages, people actually grow up hearing such cases.. They actually believe that this is right.. Call it lack of education, call it lack of awareness, call it ignorance, call it the dictatorship of the khap for power.. But, something needs to be done about it, merely educating the people is not a solution.. Moreover, no matter what you do, you cannot convince the elders of these villages..They must be behind the bars, instead of having the authority to announce death sentences for the youth of the nation.. 

Secondly, the Indian society is certainly responsible for this fanaticism, this psychology.. Indians, in general, give a hell lot of importance to religions, caste and above all their honour and reputation..As always, I would like to state the way I feel that the existence of religions, and the inter-religion, inter-caste hatred is responsible for most of the social evils..

Its high time that people should realize that castes and religions should not be taken as ways to discriminate, that adult boys and girls have the right to marry the person of their choice, irrespective of the community or religion, that society, tradition, reputation, honour cannot be above the lives of innocent girls and boys..

At the end, nothing at all can be above humanity or human rights..

All I could do was to write this blog as a concerned citizen.. Its a request to all the readers.. the next time you read a news pertaining to honour killing, dont just say, "Bahut bura hua, kitni sharmnaak baat hai".. You need to take an action, you need to create awareness, you need to rise above things like castes, religions, communities etc. You need to do something in this direction, for the society, for the country you are a part of, for the sake of the lives of those fellow Indians who are being killed in the name of honour..

This is all I had to say, all kinda comments are welcome..

Sonia Bhatia

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