If Every Child is Legitimate Now, I Support Madras HC

Madras High Court order on pre marital sex and marriage has sparked a controversy which is going viral on net. I have lost the count of the different versions, opinions, judgements, views and above all interpretations that I have read about the same.

Let me just begin with sharing the links for the news :

Couples who have premarital sex to be considered 'married' : says HC

However, I still believe that the title by The Hindu for the link above was somewhat misleading.
Therefore, I would also like to share TOI's article. Its an interesting read.

The very statement "If a couple in the right legal age indulge in sexual gratification, it will be considered a valid marriage and they could be termed as husband and wife." has raised eyebrows, made headlines, been the hot topic for debates all over the country.

While people have been criticizing and ridiculing the verdict, while there have been funny facebook posts "trolling" the pre marital sex=marriage part (without looking at the exact interpretation), while people are questioning the fact that there can't be documentary proofs for sex between a man and a woman, while some say this would actually mean polygamy for those who casually sleep with more than one woman, I feel that considering the present case, there is one aspect that simply can't be ignored, and that is, according to Justice Karnan,

" the petitioner’s rank has been elevated as the `wife’ of the respondent and likewise, the respondent’s rank has been elevated as the `husband’ of the petitioner. Therefore, the children born to them are legitimate children"

And, this statement, precisely, is the reason why I am writing this blog.

No Child Should Be Called "Illegitimate". Period.

For a moment, forget the case, forget the verdict, forget the controversy and the endless articles and blogs about the same. Consider a case where a man and a woman have sex, but they are not married to each other, the woman gets pregnant and eventually gives birth to a child. Now, since they are not a married couple, the child born to them would be an "illegitimate child" for s/he would be born out of wedlock, where the marriage is invalid or void in the eyes of the law. More importantly, such children would be termed as "naajaayaz aulaad" in the eyes of the Indian society forever!

Was it the fault of the child that s/he was born as a result of pre marital sex and not sex after marriage? Why should the child be devoid of proper education, nutrition, bringing up and care? Why should the child carry the psychological and emotional burden of being called 'naajayaz' throughout his/her life?

If Justice Karnan's verdict implies that such children deserve a life beyond the tag illegitimate' ,deserve financial support,education,love and affection ,deserve a life like that of so-called legitimate kids whose parents had had sex only after getting married ,I support such an interpretation of the case!

Yes,I understand that two individuals cannot get married just because of a sexual intercourse and a one night stand. I admit that people,particularly women ,might use such laws for blackmailing others, this may lead to forced marriages too. I do believe that if a woman or a man wishes to be a single mother or a single father to the child, s/he can't be forced. But then, the child will have to suffer because of the word 'illegitimate' as long as he is alive, and may be his own children will also have to suffer for the same.

Thus, in spite of everything, this verdict does hold good for cases where pre marital sex leads to pregnancy and/or child birth. Many girls in India commit suicide in case if they get pregnant and they can't abort the child. Many men in India still use and throw women for lust in the name of love and commitment. Almost all kids born out of sex without marriage go through the mental torture of "being illegitimate"

And the worst part is that irrespective of laws and legal terms, indian society would continue to be equally rigid. Gays and lesbians are still not accepted in our society even after Section 377. Do you think we will ever accept pre marital sex and unmarried pregnant women? Even if a law is introduced to support such kids in all similar cases , society would continue to call them "Naajayaz Aulaad", unmarried pregnant girls would continue to go for illegal abortions and suicide attempts!

The irony is that Indians do not condemn something as brutally illegal as rape as much as they condemn pre marital sex which involves mutual consent. And just like they have no sympathy for rape victims, they have absolutely no acceptance for the "illegitimate children". Perhaps people in India have decided that they would keep their notions, their so-called values and culture above all logics, all ethics, all sympathy and humanity.

Justice Karnan and his verdict has been like a proof to the fact that we, the people of India, love to look at only one side of the coin, and that side is the side which deserves criticism, blames and sarcasm.
If at all we could think of accepting children born after sex without marriage, if at all we could let unmarried pregnant women live their own lives, such a verdict would not have been needed in the first place.

Every newspaper, every blog writer, every other person may have come up with his/her interpretations and views. I have just one thing to say.

I reiterate my words.. "No Child Should Be Called Illegitimate. Period"

Sonia Bhatia

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WHEN A LIFE IS WORTH LESS THAN HONOUR

Honour killing..perhaps the most ironical phrase of the english language and the most shameful, brutal, heinous crime possible...

A girl was burnt alive for being in a relationship with a boy from a different caste..

A 19 year old girl and her boyfriend were bludgeoned with hammer and elecrocuted to death by her family in Delhi...

A young boy was killed for marrying a girl who belonged to the same gotra,his battered body was actually displayed in the village...

A 15 year old schoolboy and his girlfriend were killed in Greater Noida, by their own family members after they refused to end their affair...

Yes, honour-killing cases are rampant in most of the states of India, not only in India but also in other countries for that matter..

For the sake of the so-called 'izzat' in the society and to save the honour of the family,caste or religion, young men and women have been murdered by their own relatives and most shockingly, by their own parents in many of the cases..

I,being an agnostic,being completely against the caste system, find it incomprehensibly difficult to describe how shocked I was when I read those n number of cases.. How can a father kill his own daughter just for his family's reputation in the society? For me, the word called 'religion' does not exist,but it is considered to be above the life of an innocent human being for some people..A research paper by a Chandigarh based lawyer states that every year,over a 1000 people are killed in India in the name of honour.. And, on top of that,for every case that gets recorded, several others go unreported..

THE ROOT CAUSE

In villages, the main factors responsible are probably ignorance, superstitions and stereotyped views,their mentality and above all the Khap.. 

But if you think the main cause of honour killings is lack of education or the dictatorship of the khap, may be wrong..As a matter of fact, there have been many cases in areas like Delhi where the murderers were educated people from well-to-do families and the victims were, of course, their own children and family members..

If you think that caste-ism and orthodox attitude is responsible, you maybe wrong again..

Now, talking about the ultimate reason, well, obviously, a normal human being would never go to the extent of committing a crime as heinous as brutally killing someone close to him.. One of the most interesting aspect of the subject called psychology- crime and psychology- is probably the answer to this..

Every criminal commits the crime either for revenge or hatred or greed or insecurity..A thief or a robber kills for the greed of money, a rapist kills for lust, for sex.. All first degree murders are premeditated, i.e. they are planned, either for revenge or simply for hatred..

Now, when this feeling (of greed or revenge or hatred or insecurity or lust) overpowers an individual, it overtakes his conscience and he does not realize that its morally,socially, legally wrong and inhumane.. 

In case of honour killings, the main reason is perhaps insecurity- the fear of losing the so-called respect, reputation in the society.. the fear of not being able to follow the parampara (tradition).. its when this insecurity or this lust for honour and reputation overpowers him, he goes to the extent of taking away the life of his own son or daughter...

WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE

No matter what the reason is, such an act can never be justified.. It is something that needs to be stopped at any cost, one of the worst social evils existing in India..

Union Minister for Law and Justice, M Veerappa Moily had recently said that they would be coming up with a stricter provision in the law to stop honour killings.. But are amendments in laws enough? Will stricter laws be able to stop, or for that matter, control the rising rate of the number of honour killings?

All the people living in cities and metropolitans are bound to be aware of the fact that murder or manslaughter is a crime, it is against the law and they are bound to be punished for the same..In spite of this, there have been many cases in places like Delhi, Noida etc. 

Moreover, in certain villages, the gram-panchayat had announced to hang boys and girls until death for marrying a person from the same gotra.. In rural areas of Haryana and a few other states, people actually believe that only whores choose their own partners.. Although killing women for dowry, killing innocent people in the name of tradition, in the name of honour, is not considered to be a crime in the same region, but a death sentence is announced for marrying a person from a different caste or from the same gotra..

Now the question arises, even if amendments are made in the laws, even if stricter laws are made, would this put an end to this brutal killing?
Well, as long as these stone-hearted fanatics have their orthodox views on, as long as they feel that young girls are like a 'burden' to the family, as long as izzat and parampara would remain more important than the lives of their daughters and sons, no laws, no amendments would be able to stop this.. And where would the common people go, when even policemen in these areas support the rules by Khap panchayats? Aren't laws baseless and purposeless in a country where the law makers just comment and promise a stricter action and policemen support the same law breakers in the name of tradition and honour? 

First of all, a strict action must be taken against all those panchayats  who actually announce the murders of young men and women.. There must be a police force against the same, with a duty to arrest the people responsible for killing.. Even a five year old kid must be knowing that these murders are illegal according to the law, then why don't the Khap panchayats come to an end?  How the hell do they have the right to announce death sentence to a couple just for marrying in the same gotra? 

In villages, people actually grow up hearing such cases.. They actually believe that this is right.. Call it lack of education, call it lack of awareness, call it ignorance, call it the dictatorship of the khap for power.. But, something needs to be done about it, merely educating the people is not a solution.. Moreover, no matter what you do, you cannot convince the elders of these villages..They must be behind the bars, instead of having the authority to announce death sentences for the youth of the nation.. 

Secondly, the Indian society is certainly responsible for this fanaticism, this psychology.. Indians, in general, give a hell lot of importance to religions, caste and above all their honour and reputation..As always, I would like to state the way I feel that the existence of religions, and the inter-religion, inter-caste hatred is responsible for most of the social evils..

Its high time that people should realize that castes and religions should not be taken as ways to discriminate, that adult boys and girls have the right to marry the person of their choice, irrespective of the community or religion, that society, tradition, reputation, honour cannot be above the lives of innocent girls and boys..

At the end, nothing at all can be above humanity or human rights..

All I could do was to write this blog as a concerned citizen.. Its a request to all the readers.. the next time you read a news pertaining to honour killing, dont just say, "Bahut bura hua, kitni sharmnaak baat hai".. You need to take an action, you need to create awareness, you need to rise above things like castes, religions, communities etc. You need to do something in this direction, for the society, for the country you are a part of, for the sake of the lives of those fellow Indians who are being killed in the name of honour..

This is all I had to say, all kinda comments are welcome..

Sonia Bhatia

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